Testing, testing. One, two, three. This is Mandy Small telling her life story. Now I’m going to play it back and see if it’s come out OK. Hearing your own voice is really strange! I don’t sound a bit like what I thought I did. I thought I’d sound like someone on the television, maybe. Talking posh. Like Tracey Bigg. Cat asked me once how I felt about Tracey Bigg. She said, “I get the feeling she upsets you.” She doesn’t upset me! I’d just like to jump up and down on her a few times and squash her flat. Then when I’d done it, I’d roll her up like an old carpet and stuff her in the bin. I’m not supposed to be talking about Tracey Bigg. This book isn’t about Tracey Bigg, it’s about me! I don’t know how she got into it again. She keeps getting into things. From now on I am going to keep her out. That’ll settle her. Now I’m back to telling my life story, only I don’t quite know what to tell. When I asked Cat, she said, “Just tell it like it is! Why not pick up where you left off?”
