Getting The Love You Want, 20th An. Ed. (2012) - Plot & Excerpts
Ed. 8 CREATING A ZONE OF SAFETY Perfect love means to love the one through whom one became unhappy. —SØREN KIERKEGAARD ONCE A COUPLE has made a commitment to stay together and work on their relationship, the next logical step is to help them become allies, not enemies. It’s fruitless to take two people who are angry with each other and try to lead them along a path of spiritual and psychological growth—they would spend too much time trying to knock each other off the road. In order to make the surest and fastest progress toward their relationship vision, they need to become friends and helpmates. But how is this going to happen? How can couples put an end to their power struggle when they haven’t had the opportunity to resolve their fundamental differences? Love and compassion are supposed to come at the end of the therapeutic process, not at the beginning. I found a solution to this dilemma in my studies of the behavioral sciences.
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