Going Overboard: The Misadventures Of A Military Wife (2006) - Plot & Excerpts
Oh, where do I begin? I'm going to try to be professional about this, as angry and as upset as I am... so I'll pretend Mrs. Smiley is sitting here at my kitchen table. This is what I would say to her, from one woman to another..."I really wish you didn't write this. I get that deployments are difficult... I've been there, done that, so I know. But I am very concerned about the ramifications of this book.People who aren't in the military usually have very wrong ideas about military spouses. This book does nothing to help with their misconceptions. Most of us know how to balance a checkbook, stop a toilet from running, and are quite capable of mowing our own lawns. Most of us can calculate time changes in milliseconds... we always know what time it is wherever our husbands are, because we are always thinking about them wile they are deployed... our worlds come to a stop when we get a letter. I can't imagine putting it in a pocket and forgetting about it until the kids are in bed. And when we find out our husbands are coming home early, we rejoice.I will be very honest, since we are both mature women... I hope that some day I can get to know you better. But if that time comes, it's going to take me a long time to get over the picture that you painted of yourself as a whining, helpless, selfish person. Truly, I know that's not the person you are, but first impressions are hard to overcome. I can't imagine what you will say to your sons when they get older and read the book. Was it really a good idea to publicize all that STUFF? Did you think about how hurtful it would be to your father, your husband, your boys, the other spouses in the club who weren't portrayed very nicely? Every Officer your husband ever works with (and every enlisted person under his command) will know that his wife publicized her feelings for another man. Do you really think that contributes positively to his career and the amount of respect afforded him? I was in tears reading the last chapter because my heart absolutely broke for your husband... who thought you wouldn't show up for the homecoming, who took his time disembarking because while all of his comrades were happily reuniting with their families, he thought he would be alone. And this after having endured the time in France when all the wives met their husbands except for you... and after you missed the video phone call and he waited and waited for you... truly, I couldn't bear it.Your neighbor Brent must have been a saint. I don't know how he tolerated it all. I wonder why you had no problems being so dependent upon him, yet had so many problems with your husband. I wonder why, if you had so many issues with your Dad, yet you married a man who was just like him...And while I had such a negative reaction to the book, I DO give you kudos for doing the right thing and honoring your marriage vows. Too many people these days would have made a different choice. I truly hope this experience made your marriage stronger. But I do hope you will understand that I simply cannot recommend this book to my fellow military spouses."
Ok. So it is a memoir. So, of course it's going to be all about the author and very up close and personal. I have to admit, anytime I'm faced with a military-spouse-type book, I turn the other way, thinking: "what could be in here that I don't already know" or (gasp) "I don't want to read this, what if it comes true for me!"But all in all, I'm glad I read this. It gives one spouses perspective on her experience. Not every spouse experience, just hers. We all have our own stuff going on and our own experiences and perspectives - Sarah just decided to publicize hers. I'm sure others do via Facebook status updates. I laughed and cried throughout. At times I totally felt for her and felt like she was reading my mind. Other times I disliked her for the choices she was making. But all in all - it was a story, and a good one at that. Very fast read, like picking up the phone and gossiping with an old friend. I'm sure most people take this for what it is, one persons thoughts to being married to the military, not a complete portrayal of every mil spouse. That doesn't exist. The is no "model" of the military spouse, as the military is just a smaller fishbowl version of the greater world, filled with all types of people, with all types of backgrounds, and all types of thoughts.
What do You think about Going Overboard: The Misadventures Of A Military Wife (2006)?
Ugh. Where do I start? My oh my, how can the author be so helpless and selfish? I felt like the entire contents of the book should have read "ME ME ME OH NO ME MINE MYSELF CUTE DOCTOR HELP ME ME ME." She made me really angry. As a woman, but more as a human. Plenty of people have been "dependents" their whole lives and can still function and use common sense. I lived at home until I was 27 and I had plenty. She "had no idea how to get in touch with the Red Cross" whilst waiting in the hospital with her friend who had a miscarriage? Really? Because I'm pretty sure the hospital would know, if you just ask someone. The only redeeming parts of the book were her hypochondriac hilarity (esp. the syrup/purple penis part) and the interest insights into military life.
—Emily
Being a military member and a spouse, I could relate to many of Smiley's life dilemmas but at the same time had a difficult time understanding her perspective on things. She was very reliant on her husband and although I see some of that as a necessary aspect of marriage, I appreciated her friends' input almost more than hers throughout the book. Having grown up in the age of technology, we have online banking but even at the age of 16, I could balance a checkbook. Her inability to do things like that or mow the lawn made her seem very needy. Military wives that I know are significantly more independent than the military wife that Smiley portrayed. I was also a bit uncomfortable with her willingness to see her doctor on a flirtatious level. She let that situation go on for way too long. If reading this book, definitely pay attention to the thoughts of her friends, Jody, Courtney, and Melanie. They are a far more realistic view of military wives.
—Kimberly Erskine
I have a really hard time deciding what I think ... I found a lot to relate with, inevitably, and I sympathized with her at times, but I also found her to be incredibly selfish and annoying. However, I think she was purposely portraying herself that way, as in it was a phase of her life she's not proud of (but she never really acknowledged that directly, so I'm not sure). If anything, it made me feel better about myself because I'm not that pathetic, but that's not really the message I wanted to get out of this book. I wouldn't want civilians reading this and forming their opinion of military spouses based on her.
—Audrey Mcclune
