Even after everything the elderly woman had said, I still had doubts. What if Nuwan couldn’t protect me from being found out by our superiors? What if Shilah couldn’t forgive me for what I’d put him through? Then I thought about how bold Granna was to keep seeing Nuwan while living a normal life. It was a completely different situation from mine and Shilah’s, but she and Nuwan had been willing to take the risk. They were being brave. Jayza had said I was scared. And I think she’s right. I was scared of the unknown. I was scared of what I didn’t understand, and I didn’t understand my feelings for Shilah. The way I felt scared me more than anything; more than any possible punishment my superiors could give me. I remembered what I had told Ziri when the little girl, Kacie, died. I told her we aren’t supposed to understand death. It just happens. Maybe the same is true about love.
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