I give up. I can't go on. I couldn't even make it to page one hundred. I slogged through the first 85 pages, which should have been a stand-alone novella (had it been a novella, it would have been a vast improvement, and I may have sped through it had I not been daunted and confused by the presence of the 300+ pages that were still to come). For years I've been longing for a book from the Orc perspective. I wanted a story that actually gave us a hint of Orc culture, Orc life, maybe a story about a humble Orc farmer, just trying to make it while providing grain for the Orc army and living in fear of the nasty humans encroaching on his land. Or perhaps the tale of an Orc warrior, living in squalor and fear because he's part of an underfunded army, and a culture that prizes death over anything else. Or the story of an Orc actor, part of a travelling show, moving through the armies of the Orcs, trying to boost morale. Anything original that told us who Orcs are, even if it wasn't my idea of what Orcs can be, would have been appreciated. Thus I went into Grunts with an open mind, ready to love it (bolstered by the fact that I really enjoyed Mary Gentle's Rats and Gargoyles). But there was no hint of that book I'd been hoping for. Instead, it was just a bunch of idiotic, cannibalistic, hyper-violent degenerates. Just more of Orcs being unrepentantly evil and nasty. But wait, Grunts did provide us with a pair of seriously pyschopathic Halflings, a pair of serial killers if truth be told, and that made me excited for a while, but just when that thread would get interesting, the Halflings would disappear. Which reminds me, the pacing in this book was awful, all over the place, I'd get interested, then she'd move onto something else and drain me of interest. But then Grunts had something else I could get behind: (view spoiler)[the Orcs stumble on a cache of USMC Weapons in a Dragon's horde and turn themselves into a Marine Corp fighting machine. Suddenly it seems like Gentle is commenting on the US Military, and I am overjoyed! But then the mechanized weapons are useless against magic, and the Grunts are slaughtered, and I can't help wondering what the fuck she was doing having these weapons appear so soon in a 400+ page book. Or at all because they seem to add absolutely nothing (hide spoiler)]
The cannonfodder are given a voice19 December 2011tThe first I heard of this book was when I was young and unemployed. A friend of mine didn't necessarily recommend it to me but was rather laughing about it with some other friends. Apparently their favourite line was 'pass me another elf, this one's broken'. Yet another friend lent it to me and I read it. In conclusion, it was one of the most painful, disgusting, disturbing, and horrible books that I have ever read. To put it lightly, I hated it.tThe setting is your average fantasy setting where the great battle between good and evil is about to begin. The heroes of the book are the orcs. They are not nice, nor are they good, but they are orcs. In this book we get a rare behind the scenes look at the life of the fantasy cannon-fodder. In many books orcs are simply created to be killed by the heroes. Further, since orcs are not human nobody can accuse the author of racism. It is not that they are different, it is that they are very different. They are ugly, barbaric, and of course evil. There is no difference to this stereotype in this book.tI won't go into detail on how in the books the orc discover a cache of modern weapons and begin to train like marines to give them a fighting chance. While that may be a part of this book, it is not necessarily what I am going to get at here. Further, this is not like a Shakespearian story, told through the eyes of the villain. No, there is nothing about this book that would even compare it as such.tHowever, I was writing about how orcs are the stereotypical cannon-fodder of the fantasy world. While it is true that orcs do not exist, I would suggest that there is the subtle idea of superiority resting here. The idea is that the beautiful and the intelligent are good while the ugly and the stupid are bad. If you are ugly then ergo, you are bad. If you are stupid, ergo, you are barbaric. In a way we all try to hide our prejudices (or most of us do, many of us are very blatant and outspoken regarding our prejudices, but that is beside the point), and while charges of racism are hardly going to stick against an author because the author writes a book wherein orcs are bad, I am suggesting that the idea still does lurk below the surface.
What do You think about Grunts (1995)?
This is one of my favorite books, and the best parody I've read. As a parody it's beats both The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy as well as the dynamic duo of The Colour of Magic & The Light Fantastic, as it forces the reader to face his/her prejudices, in this case the fantasy genre itself.The story is told from the perspective of a gang of Orchs, which are the canon-fodder of evil and are usually just there for the blonde and bright eyed hero to slay on his way conquer evil. Ever considered how life must look from their perspective? Well here's you chance to find out!(view spoiler)[Things take an interesting twist when the cornered Orchs dig their way into the treasure trove of a dragon and find some metal tubes that does strange (almost magical) things in battle. For a hint read the title again. (hide spoiler)]
—Martin
I can probably count the times on one hand where a book was so awful I couldn't finish it.Sloppy narrative. Changing tense mid paragraph - which was done to the point of distraction (I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt on this one, deciding that she was doing it in certain places for emphasis - but after the fifteenth time or so, I couldn't reconcile it anymore). Encounters that didn't finish, were just sort of left floating on the breeze only to find the same characters later on in a different setting and little explanation as to how they got there. A battle with a dragon, that sort of happened, but didn't really get explained. I know that the dragon must have been defeated, but didn't really see it. And a band of orcs that are quickly and inexplicably turned into Marines complete with Marine lingo, Marine attitude and Marine expertise. All this because they found a cache of modern military weapons?I'm not buying it.And exactly how many times does the author have to tell me that an orc has "Beetle Browed Eyes" before I believe it and remember it? Ad nauseum.The only redeeming quality of the book, in my opinion, were the Brandiman brothers. I thought they were very clever characters - but we didn't see enough of them.Very disappointing because I had heard great things about this author. Ah well.
—John
This is a strange one for me - I'm a bit old fashioned in that I like to see the good guys win. And I like to be able to empathise with the protagonists. But in this book, the good guys are prety much all arrogant twerps, and the bad guys are the - for want of a better word - protagonists.And every time you start to empathise with them, BAM! The author smacks you right between the eyes with something shocking that blasts away that empathy.Also, the book feels like it could have finished about three times during its length. I can see why it didn't (there was apparently still more story to tell), but It may have served better as three novellas rather than one long novel.That's not to say I didn't enjoy it!If you want to read something that turns the traditional fantasy tropes on their heads (and aren't easily offended), then I would recommend Grunts!Yo the Marines!
—Rooney
