A clean bill of health meant I never had to think about him again. That his infidelity affected no more than the past, and I could finally move toward my future. The future I hoped would include Jake. I pulled myself from the couch, made my way into the kitchen, and gathered all the ingredients for chocolate cake. Jake’s favorite. In twenty-four hours he’d be home. He’d walk through the door and we’d talk. I’d ask him about everything. What our kiss meant. What happened with Grace. What he saw in our future. Yes, I’d sworn off men only a couple weeks before, but the truth was, the rules didn’t apply to Jake. They never had. But what if I didn’t like his answers? What would I do then? He wasn’t with Grace anymore, but that didn’t change the fact he didn’t do serious. In fact, he confirmed it when he broke up with her. Would I be okay with that? Could I have a non-serious, non-committed relationship? I thought so—I just didn’t know if I could have one with Jake. I cracked the eggs into the bottom of the bowl—my mind swarmed with confusion and what ifs—and began to whisk my frustrations into the form of a birthday cake.
