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Read Honor Lost: Love And Death In Modern Day Jordan (2003)

Honor Lost: Love And Death In Modern Day Jordan (2003)

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3.59 of 5 Votes: 5
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ISBN
0743448782 (ISBN13: 9780743448789)
Language
English
Publisher
atria books

Honor Lost: Love And Death In Modern Day Jordan (2003) - Plot & Excerpts

Albeit there is so much controversy surrounding this book, I appreciate how important, clear, and well written this novel is. As a fan of Middle Eastern (and generally foreign) books, I had a few questions about this book once I re-read it like many readers. But questions weren't about whether the protagonist was real because I know there are plenty of women who have, and are facing gender-based violence. I did arrive to this conclusion during my first experience with it, as I was in 10th grade, and simply too enthralled with how unique this book was amongst the bland, and frankly white-washed titles we had in school. This was fresh and it generated cogent dialogue with people for weeks to come. I didn't care to question the authenticity of the characters then, and I'm unsure if I care to now. Despite the arguments over how realistic or fictitious this novel is, there are many true undertones such as, and primarily the main focus of the book on honor killings. Perhaps women in Jordan don't live in fear constantly, and this book may have slightly generalized an entire population, but honor killings do happen, and one is one too many. I've seen people say in reviews on GoodReads that honor killings are only a "few a year," "rare," & etc. in countries where they happen commonly (when in reality, a "few" means 1200 gender-based killings annually). Those people need to reevaluate their statements and mentality. Death is death but this type of gender-based execution is startling. I'm glad Khouri decided to hon in on that in Honor Lost, which is the crux of her story, next to forbidden love, whether the protagonist and the logistics of the story are completely real or not. Now as an undergrad (women's studies/public leadership & policy), I still see the redundant articles and enumerating responses people have held toward this book; 'is it real' or 'not' and I say those people are really looking for a flaw to discredit not just this story, but the extent of gender-based killings because it is so culturally embedded, and the world seems to enjoy looking for chinks in the armor, so to speak, for women who make accusations about gender-based violence.Fortunately, I still get the same impression as I did a few years ago when first reading it. It's powerful and exposes something clandestine about was is arguably a cultural custom in many nations; it certainly is not unique to this region of the world, although it has the highest numbers, and it needs to be discussed. Take what you want from all the external controversy of this novel, but it was well written and effective to the point where you wholly believed what you read as any good and important book should make a reader do.

So... I was already having a hard time figuring out exactly what to say about this book without sounding like a culturally-intolerant privileged white person, but then I learned that the entire book is actually a fabrication, and that Khouri's own story is a weird, convoluted tangle of stuff (a quick google search will give you the basics), and now I just don't even know where to begin.I guess, as a story, it's pretty compelling, although not the best written I've ever read. I found, while I was reading, that much of the dialogue was a bit stilted, and more explicit or expository than natural conversation usually is. At the time, I was willing to forgive that, because one can't expect conversations reconstructed from memory to be perfect. Now that I know it was all made up, I think she should have written it better.Here's where it gets a bit tougher. This story never happened. But it could have. In Jordan and other places (hell, we had a case in Canada a few years back), women are killed for what, quite frankly, I think are stupid reasons. Although the stats do not appear to be as bad as this book declares them (she estimates the numbers to be in the thousands every year), according to some relatively recent news sources, like this one, there are likely still at least 20 cases annually. And that's still a lot too many. This source, although it's now several years old, says that lawmakers are at least instituting tougher penalties for honor killings, and treating them essentially the same as any other murder, instead of making them a special, protected class of offenses barely considered crimes. There are, I guess, still provisions that make it possible to get lighter sentences in some cases, but they're trying, and that's something.So... yeah. I just don't know what to do with this book. Is it a cause worth bringing attention to, even if this specific story didn't happen? Yes. But was writing a fictional story and passing it off as true the best way to do that? I don't think so. While I realize that people are often very hesitant to talk about this kind of thing when it's happened to them, I'm sure she could have found someone with a story similar to the one she concocted, and that would have been much better and more effective, if drawing attention to this issue was what she really wanted to do. The fact that she didn't suggests that her motives were... well, I really don't know. I really have no idea what her thought process here was. It's all just very strange.

What do You think about Honor Lost: Love And Death In Modern Day Jordan (2003)?

At first I thought it read as a kind of Lifetime movie, the book edition, but I decided that the book was written from the heart and the importance of the issue overshadows any such melodramatic tone. This is the story of two women who, as the author described themselves, were soul sisters, and the killing of one of them only to uphold her family's honor, which she had supposedly besmirched. As we already know from the outset that there is no happy ending, I found myself feeling the author's rage at the murderer and the system in general which, contrary my previous beliefs, is not something that comes from Islamic law but rather is a holdout from Hammurabic and Assyrian laws dating back to 1200 BC. You can feel the oppression everywhere as females of all ages are subjected to an unending lifetime of suffering and cow towing to the men in their lives. Even Christian women in countries such as Jordan are subject to these ridiculous laws. And, speaking of Jordan, don't be fooled by some PR campaign it has tried to use in the last 15 years to better its reputation in the West. It is one of the worst countries for this type of murder, coming behind only Pakistan and Afghanistan. I hope Norma Khouri is alive and doing well, wherever she was able to escape to.
—Michele

Forbidden Love was a very good book because it made me more aware of some of the injustices that are taking place to women around the world especially in Muslim countries. This is also a true story so the message was even more powerful and effective to me. I also liked this reading this book because it showed this close, sisterly friendship between Dalia and Norma. I thought it was touching that they would both go through extraordinary lengths to do something or protect each other. Forbidden Love was an easy book to follow and had a good balance of both suspenseful and calm moments. The only thing that I disliked about the book was that the back of the book was a spoiler. It told how the story was going to end and it took some of the mystery from the plot. None the less, Forbidden Love opened my eyes to how women are treated in Muslim countries and was a inspiring and dramatic story. I would highly recommend this book to every woman and girl to read.
—Shania

This is a true story about two girls, Norma and Dalia, who lived in Jordan and knew each other since they were born. They opened a salon together, and before long, Dalia fell in love with a regular customer, Michael. Norma helped the two set up secret, forbidden meetings, but Dalia's brother, Muhammed, found pine needles from one of Dalia and Michael's dates. The two girls are worried for their lives because they know that in the Muslim culture, the father is expected to kill his own daughter if he finds that she has been seeing another man. You'll have to read the book to find out what happens after that. This book was an excellent book full of suspense and action. It reveals a lot about Muslim culture and life in Jordan. I highly recommend it.
—Rachel Ogg

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