How To Be A Friend To A Friend Who's Sick (2013) - Plot & Excerpts
A helpful guide for patients, caregivers and friends. As the author suggests this book can be dipped into as needed for advise on everything from a friend dying to a friend diagnosed with cancer to a friend whose child has died. As a breast cancer survivor myself, I found that her stories about her own breast cancer were insightful and rang so true with me. Her suggestions on visiting, offering help, etc. are helpful and a good reference. Advice and anecdotes on helping sick and grieving friends are divided by "interludes," short chapters about Pogrebin's personal cancer journey.The author repeats what she says are the key things to remember when trying to understand how to be there for a sick friend: ask and act, tell the truth, and be willing to do what you offer to do. These seem like basics, but it's helpful to have them fleshed out with a few concrete examples and suggestions.Pogrebin muddies her helpful advice in two ways. One is by including anecdotes that are in conflict with one another. One interviewee found a certain phrase to be comforting, while another found it offensive. Someone appreciated a particular offer of help and another person was depressed by the same offer. Perhaps by pointing out these differences, Pogrebin is reminding us that each individual has his or her own preferences and we need to be sensitive about determining what they are; but as I read them I ended up feeling discouraged, like there was no right thing to say or do because any of it could be offensive. The other way the author weakened her suggestions was by not offering specifics. For example, an instruction that seems true is to be intuitive about when to stay longer with a sick friend and when to leave. But for folks who aren't very intuitive, that advice needs to include some concrete help, like signs to recognize patient fatigue, perhaps.There's also a good bit of name-dropping.Though not related to why I picked up the book, I liked reading the personal interludes.Skim the book for information relevant to your situation, but don't count on it as a bible for tending to your sick friends.
What do You think about How To Be A Friend To A Friend Who's Sick (2013)?
Well-researched, informative and inspirational. I am certain I will return to this book many times.
—Nautilus2067
Great advice on topic, could have been a lot shorter.
—123abc
Good suggestions, including care for the caregiver.
—Mike
