This is the third Tropper novel I have read, the first being This is Where I Leave You. I liked both of them a lot. They are poignant, sweet, funny, vicious, and insightful. His family dinner scenes are classic. They have you laughing out loud only to get sucker punched by the perceptiveness. He does this through the classic comedian's technique of hyperbole, but it's not exaggerated so much that it becomes caricature. We've all seen elements of his dysfunctional family in ourselves and others.His books (from what I've read his others do also) also relate to how we deal with death; in this one Doug Parker, age twenty-nine, wallows in self-pity after the death of his wife, Hailey, in a plane crash. She was older than he and came with a twelve-year-old son, Russ. At the dinner celebrating his sister Deb's upcoming marriage, as things go from bad to worse, Russ [Doug's stepson] excuses himself for a minute, is gone for fifteen, and comes back with his eyes glazed over. “You had to get high right now?” I whisper to him. “It was so important?” “It was a biological imperative, dude. It is fucking intense in here.” “It’s just dinner with the family.” “Come on, man. It’s like there’s a hunk of C4 strapped to the table and we’re all just waiting to see when it will detonate. I can’t believe you dragged me here.”It’s a tricky enough business forming a friendship with a pissed-off teenager under the best of circumstances. Now try it when you’re sleeping with his mother, when you are, quite literally, a motherfucker. Let me tell you, that requires a whole other skill set. When I first moved in, I knew I’d have to make an effort to bond with Russ so that Hailey could feel good about the whole arrangement. If she didn’t, it wasn’t like she was going to give her kid the boot. Last one hired, first one fired. And so I applied myself like a laid-back uncle, giving him lifts to school or the mall to meet his friends, taking him to the occasional weeknight movie, editing his term papers, and, more recently, taking him out for driving practice in my secondhand Saab. I was a lazy boy and I am a lazy man, and the beauty of the situation was that I wasn’t really expected to be a parent to Russ, which, based on the limited wisdom I have to offer, was a win-win situation for all involved.They had not been married long and Doug refuses to admit that life goes on: his twin sister is leaving her husband after becoming pregnant and his younger sister, Deb, is getting married to Mike whom she met at Doug's shiva for Hailey, a source of much resentment. Then there is his dad who has just survived a personality-changing stroke. Doug, a columnist, has begin writing a column which is becoming increasingly popular, called "How to Talk to a Widower."Doug has become a self-imposed social outcast, spending his time throwing rocks (and cell phone) at the rabbits in his yard, saying the kinds of things I guess we all wish we had the guts to. "I lost something after Hailey died. I’m not sure what to call it, but it’s the device that stops you from telling the truth when people ask you how you’re doing, that vital valve that keeps your deeper, truer emotions under lock and key. I don’t know exactly when I lost it, or how to get it back, but for now, when it comes to tact, civility, and discretion, I’m an accident waiting to happen, over and over again." So you get marvelously delicious scenes like this one:"... few weeks ago, a Jehovah’s Witness or a Jew for Jesus or some other freak on happy pills selling God in a pamphlet showed up at my door, smiling like a cartoon, and said, “Have you let God into your life?” “God can fuck himself.” He smiled beatifically at me, like I’d just complimented his crappy JCPenney suit. “I once felt the way you do, brother.” “You’re not my brother,” I hissed at him. “And you have never felt like this. If you’d ever felt like this, you would still feel like this, because it doesn’t go away."And the scene where he goes out on a date with a divorcee who has two young children is priceless. Let's just say part of it involves him noting that he usually doesn't mop up vomit until the third date.
I think we are all familiar with the stereotype of the so called "modern" writer: the kind of guy or girl who sits at Starbucks, smokes a Silk Cut (or a Djarum or other aromaticized poison if he or she is hip enough) and types away on a MacBook. The type of text that comes out is is either dick/chick lit, meaning witty novels about the complicated relationship between men and women, or some quasi post-modern bullshit which nobody understands and everybody praises for exactly that reason. Sometimes, the two are combined to results unknown.If you watch TV you propably saw such writers on popular shows. Ten years ago Carrie Bradshaw was the queen - she was intelligent, independant and wrote her own column in a popular newspaper, which eventually got published in a book form. Now, Hank Moody seems to have taken over, I don't known why, most propably because he's played by David Duchovny.Jonathan Tropper is such a guy. His novel has to deal with the complicated relationships between men and women, and unlike many others when he tries to be funny he is funny, when he tries to be observant he is observant, and when he tries to be poingnant he is poignant. it's truly a rare experience nowaydays to read a book that will literally make you laugh out loud at one page and teary-eyed at the next. Tropper describes the overwhelming sense of loss so beautifully and truthfully that it's impossible not to relate to the pain and sorrow of the main character. We care for him deeply, and simply wish that the guy could be happy, once again.What stops me from giving this book a perfect rating is its purely American (or rather Hollywood) mentality. Everyone is beautiful, succesful and rich. Doug, the main character, is of course handsome, has a beautiful, protective sister, makes out with his hot neighbour, and even his mom is a hot chica.There are too many subplots that are so interesting but never completely fleshed out: Doug's stepson is a predictable hipster whose dilemmas are solved way too easily, the melodramatic transformation of some characters screams "screeenplay!" so loud that it's impossible to ignore.However, for the sheer amount of emotion Tropper manages to cover in this work the book is worth reading. While not terribly memorable, it is definitely funny, poingnant and moving - a feat which many writers failed to manage, and which Tropper conveys smoothly and with style. I will most certainly read his other works.
What do You think about How To Talk To A Widower (2007)?
I love Jonathan Tropper! I love how real his characters are, how easily you fall into his world and fall in love with his characters. It gives me hope that maybe mankind isn't all that bad. I'm so glad my coworker randomly bought his books then lent them to me (without even reading them first) because otherwise I might not even know about these books!He makes me laugh out loud, and I love his dialogue:“We don’t have twin telepathy.”“Of course we do, it’s just subtle, like...flesh-colored nail polish.”I grin. “Like...central air.”“Like...a white wine buzz.”“Like...Mel Gibson’s Australian accent in Lethal Weapon.” I love how he writes pieces into his work that only people of a certain age group might understand, like how there wouldn't be anyone holding up boom boxes in the middle of the rain.I'm just in love with him. I hope he writes and writes and never stops.
—Sassacaia
Great story. There are a few parts of the book that can bring tears to your eyes, but Doug is a young widower... Most of the book is quick witted and funny.Doug is in his 20's and marries a women about 11 years older than he is (her name is Hailey, spelled the same as my daughter) with a teenage son. She dies about 2 years into their marriage. The story is mainly the year after his wife's death. Doug's relationship with his teenage step-son, pregnant twin sister whose life is coming undone, another sister who is planning a perfect wedding, drunk actress mother but who is loving, father whose mind is going, friend of his wife's that wants to do more than bring him meals once a week, and dealing with his overwhelming grief. Which involves lots of alcohol, throwing rocks at bunnies, crying outbursts, and movies during the day. No boring parts in this book!
—Melissa
This was the first book of Jonathan Tropper's that I have read and I have to say I really love his voice in How To Talk To A Widower.A fan of Nick Hornby's work I was curious to pick up another male authors book that fits the "women's fiction" category. The story is about a young widower who has to deal with a step-son and family that is more than a little odd.Jonathan Tropper writes in a such a lively manner and in scenes that were so vivid I could easily see this on the big screen.Doug Parker is the widower and also a writer. There are a few pages that are actual pieces that Doug writes for a magazine and after losing his wife Hailey he writes about the loss. The pieces themselves were so good that I wished Jonathan had included a few more pieces.Over a period of time you watch as Doug deals with the loss and a step kid and his family. Its sweet and comical all at the same time.
—Tammie McElligott
