In The Shadow Of The American Dream - Plot & Excerpts
Tom was there, a show was about to take place onstage and I’m sitting near Tom and he is acting a bit strange. I’m not sure about the situation but it feels public in the way that has always made me tense. We are in a relationship, but some emotional part of the relationship has never fully connected, maybe because of my need to be a stranger to all events so that I can witness them without complicated emotional connections. So I can lay back in my fantasies in the process of witnessing, something extremely self-conscious in the act of witnessing, as in the warehouse days, coming through a series of abandoned rooms filled with evidence of various elements—wind, rain, rust, decomposition of plaster, etc., and also the evidence of sex acts and bodily functions such as human shit and tissues balled up with the same and occasional pairs of underwear or socks or T-shirts sometimes covered in shit or lying overlooked and abstractly human in piles of plaster and lumber or pools of rainwater—and then suddenly I’d come across two or five naked men in the throes of various leanings of sexuality, a glimpse that takes all the details in then I move on, away from the source of heat and flame.
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