I don't have any closeups of my feet online (and have been assured by impartial third parties that they are perfectly ordinary.) I've never mentioned shopping in any of my profiles. I neither paint nor seek out painters. I put my absolute favorite WTF message first because honestly, I can't get over the imagery. There are so many things far more wrong with this carefully worded missive, but the window shaded by felt curtains makes me picture a tepid grey collection of dryer lint awkwardly held together by hardened Elmer’s glue. Behind it, a darkly tanned single mother in her late 40′s is kicking back with a bottle of Wild Turkey American Honey and occasionally flashing strangers with something that looks like a caramel wrapper left in the sun too long. Wait – it’s a breast wrinkled by a lifetime of cigarette smoking and tanning bed abuse. How can he resist? He “wont” because he “wonts” it too much! I understand the undying passion such a vision entails, but c’mon. After seeing the first Star Trek movie, don’t you think we inflicted more than enough interstellar damage with V’Ger?
