Intimacy: Das Buch Zum Film Von Patrice Chéreau (2015) - Plot & Excerpts
A Joke Followed by an IntimacyAfter reading Milan Kundera's "The Joke", I returned it to the shelf, and looked for something short to read next. Happily, I found it next to my Kunderas. I thought "Intimacy" might continue some of the themes about relationships that had interested me in "The Joke".After finishing it, I discovered a 2001 interview with Kureishi in the Guardian in which he revealed that he had been reading "The Joke" that very morning.In some ways, Kureishi was to the 90's what Kundera was to the 80's. He seemed to define the Zeitgeist. At least if you were male! He had a David Bowie-like rock star persona. He could get away with almost anything."All Couples Have Troubles"I read "Intimacy" in the space of a day, well less actually, more like the time it took the Australian cricket team to knock out their first innings in the Ashes test in Nottingham. It's a novella rather than a novel. My copy was 150 pages long, but broadly spaced. No sooner had I started it than it was over.At one level, it's an indulgent rant. It's written in the first person. The narrator (Jay) is a narcissistic Oscar-nominated scriptwriter, who's about to leave his family the next day. Inevitably, it's difficult to dissociate Jay from the author. If it's difficult now, it was certainly a lot harder when the book was first published. It was clear to all that the novel was based on Kureishi's relationship and break up with his partner and mother of their two children, Tracey Scoffield."Some People Read Books Endlessly"So what can you say almost 20 years later?Kureishi writes with amazing precision about relationships from a male's perspective. You could be quite charmed listening to Jay, thinking he had a special sensitivity. However, after a while, you realise that his precision is almost surgical, and that he wields a scalpel capable of making a neat, clean cut in human flesh.Jay studied Plato, Descartes, Hume, Kant, Marx, Freud, Sartre, Camus, Ionesco, Beckett and "other poets of solitude and dread". His interests bridge philosophy and psychology. However, all this study fuels his belief that he knows people and relationships better than anyone else. Well, he knows what's good for him. And this is what he imposes on those around him."Not Every Match Burns Bright"Beneath the hipster facade is a viciousness, not unrelated to his taste in music:"A lot of punk. It was the hatred, I think, that appealed."Contrast this with his partner:"Susan, who is four years younger than me, thinks we live in a selfish age. She talks of a Thatcherism of the soul that imagines that people are not dependent on one another...Fulfilment, self-expression and 'creativity' are the only values."In other words, creativity had given some people a way out of conformist, pre-60's nine-to-fiveism, but it retained the egotism of the previous more material, more analogue, less digital version of capitalism."Some Couples Live in Harmony, Some Do Not"Jay also takes a pot shot at women's politics:"She is of a disapproving generation of women. She thinks she's a feminist but she's just bad-tempered."It's as if Jay isn't a spoiled prat, he's just a very naughty boy:"Susan would say that we require other social forms. What are they? Probably the unpleasant ones: duty, sacrifice, obligation to others, self-discipline."These are Susan's words. Perhaps, some of us will recoil from what they imply? But, really, aren't they the sort of thing you say when you start to think in terms of needs other than just your own: the needs of a couple, the needs of a family, the needs of a peer group, the needs of a community, the needs of a social and political movement?From the perspective of the Left, Jay confesses, "We were the kind of people who held the Labour Party back."It's as if Jay's kind of egocentricity tends to subvert any collective, whether of two or two billion."You My Dear Don't Have Any Manners"Jay loves their two boys, aged five and three, he says he'll be sad to leave them (really!), but they're not enough to commit him to any sort of family unit, not enough to make an effort. He can't will himself into the relationship: "You cannot will love, but only ask why you have put it aside for the time being."He pretends that he can turn off his love for his children, and that they will be there for him when he's ready to revive a relationship with them, when they are more mature and can understand his needs.He says something that many of us who have been in a relationship that didn't last can understand:"I didn't want to love Susan, but for some reason didn't want the clarity of that fact to devastate us both."Yet, you have to wonder whether the failed lover inside the author does want the public, written record of this fact to devastate: "It is a lovely day for leaving." How could it not devastate somebody?"Still, It's Sad to See Everything in Tatters"This is the true significance of the novel, as a work of fiction, but also as an implied comment on an actual relationship. The book might be named after intimacy, but it doesn't sing its praises. Instead, it reveals intimate details in order to expose and compromise them, in order to snuff out whatever flaming beauty was ever there. It's about the longing for intimacy and love, and how angry we can be when they're snuffed out, lost, rejected, left. Intimacy and love can simply dissipate before our very eyes. With no effort at all. Which is often the cause.I couldn't believe some of the things Jay said, they were so clinically brutal. You could see them coming, and you'd wonder whether he'd restrain himself, but in the end I was glad that they weren't left unsaid. We wouldn't know the truth, otherwise.The thing is, Kureishi does it accurately enough to condemn the 1990's era male (who hasn't changed that much) out of his own mouth. For all the aspersions he casts on Susan, it's her words that have best stood the test of time. She anticipated an era when, after the indulgences of the three decades that followed the 60's, we eventually had to grow up. They are, of course, words that Kureishi wrote, or at least selected and recorded from his real life experience. If it was the latter, then at least he had enough acumen to know what words expressed Susan's truth. And therefore ours.SOUNDTRACK:Marianne Faithfull - "Why'd Ya Do It?"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mvAM...Lou Reed - "Tatters"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZYwe...Lou Reed - "Tatters" [Live at Montreux on July 12, 2000]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUH8V...
لماذا يتزوج الرجل من امراة لا يحبها وينجب منهااطفال؟لماذا يتزوج الرجل متعدد العلاقات؟هذا هو السؤال الذى تبادر الى ذهنى وانا اقرا هذه الروايةقريشى يصور سوزان بطلة الرواية كوحش متبلد المشاعر باردة فاقدة للاحاسيس ويعترف انه لم يحبها ولكنه تزوجها"لم تكن من النوع الذى يثير اعجابى لكنى كنت واثقا من ان ثمة شيئا فيها يدخل المتعة الى نفسى كنت اود ان اتوقف عن رؤيتها لبضعة اشهر كى انساها ربما يمكننى عندها ان ارى كيف تبدو عن بعد"ويطلب منك ان تتعاطف مع ماساته وهذا ما لم يحدثكيف يمكن ان يكون رجل يترك زوجته وطفليه ساعيا لعلاقة مع فتاة اخرىضحية؟لم يفرض عليه احد هذا الاختيارعلاقته مع طفليه ايضا شاذةوتدل على عقلية مريضة وانسان غير سوى"كنت اثناء ذلك اقرا عدة كتب عن تربية الاطفال غالبا فى الساعات الاولى وعلى اصابعى غائط او قىء وفى احدى المرات القيت به فوق مهده واصيب راسه كنت اضع براندى فى حليبه كنت اركله بقوة فوق حفاضته حتى قبل ان يتمكن من المشى كيف يمكن للاطفال ان يجعلونا نشعر بالعجز الكامل"الرواية لم ترق لى اراها مملة و مستفزةبعيدا عن الروايةما هى معاييراختيار الشريك والارتباط بهام انه ليس هناك معايير من الاساسقد تكون قصة حب فاشلة لم تكتمل بالزواجتدفع الرجل ان يترك من احب فهولن يعيش حياة سعيدة في ظل معارضة اهله الرجل الشرقي غالبا ما يتزوج من امراة لا يحبهالماذا؟ يترك حبه نهبا للذكرياتويسعى واهما باحثا عن السعادة بالزواج التقليديمقولة ان الحب بييجى بعد الجواز و العشرههى سبب فشل كثير من العلاقاتاما ما هو غير قابل للتصديقولكنه حقيقىان يرتبط الرجل بفتاة لا يحبهافالرجل هو من يختار من يريد الارتباط بها وهو يستطيع الموافقه والرفض فلماذا يقدم بكامل قواه العقلية على ان يظلم فتاة ذنبها الوحيد هو انها صدقت كذبه عن مدى حبه لها افة من افاتمجتمعاتنا المتخلفه الكذب والخداع تتعرض المرأة للظلمباستمرارسواء بان يخونها الرجل او ان يتزوج بامراة اخرى وهى دائما وابدا متهمة بالتقصيروحتى لو لم تقصر هناك مسوغ دينى لكل اذى اوضرر يلحقه الرجل بالمراةوالرد الطبيعىهو "بس الإسلام ، حلل للرجل أربعة"هل فرض الاسلام على الرجل ان يتزوج باربعةام اعطاه هذا الحق فى صورة رخصةوشدد على انه لن يعدلفلماذا تشويه الدين؟عندما سالتنى احدى صديقاتى لماذا تركها زوجها ليتزوج اخرى اجبتهابان من يعطي الحب لمن لايستحق لا ينتظر فى المقابل الا الغدربعض الخواطر بالعاميةلو افترضنا جدلا قياسا على الروايةان واحدة اجوزت واحد ما بتحبوشوبعدين قابلت حد تانى وحبته وطلبت من جوزها انه يطلقهاايه الى هيحصللو جوزها طلقها ومموتهاشهيقولها انها قليلة الادب ومش متربيةحتى لو ما فيش اى حاجة حصلت مجرد انها مش قادرة تخون جوزها بمشاعرها ولو افترضنا ان الى هى حبته كان بيحبهاتفتكروا هيجوزهالا طبعا هيقولها انتى خاينةوذى ما سيبتى جوزكهتسيبينىلكن لو الموقف معكوسطبعا هو راجل يعنى يعمل الى هو عايزهوالزوجة الجديدةهتتفنن ازاى ما تقصرش ذى القديمة ما قصرت وعمرها ما هتشوفه خاين للعشرةصح؟لما تسال الولاد ليه سيبت خطيبتك؟واحد يقول انا سيبتها لان على طول بتقول حاضر ونعم وبتسمع كلامى فى كل حاجةما لهاش شخصيةالتانى يقول دى فاكره نفسها ند لياوالبنات متلطمة بينهمليه البنت ما تبطلش تفكر فى الجواز خالصوما تعتبروش هدفها فى الحياةليه ما بتحترمش نفسها وما ترضاش باى اهانة سواء فى الخطوبة او الجواز؟معظم الولاد الى هى بتبصلهم على انهم الهة وبتموت نفسها عشان ترضيهم شوية عيال هايفةمامته بتجره من ودانه وتقوله انت كبرت يا ابنى ولازم نجوزكفتروح هى تختار البنت وتجوزهاله ورجلة فوق رقبتهليه؟هو بيوافق ما عرفش ممكن تكون سلطة راس المال الى عند الاهلممكن هو متعود انه لازم تكون فى واحدة تانية بدل ماما تعمله السندوتشاتفماما اكيد ادرى بمصلحتهازاى واحد تافه ذى دا ولسه ما اتفطمشيخلى بنت تلف حوالين نفسهاوتدخل على منتدياتازاى تخلى جوزك يحبك"انشاله عنه ما حبك يا شيخة"او ازاى تكونى حلوة فى عين جوزك بردوفعلا؟طب ما تكونى حلوة لنفسكوالمنتديات الى هتفرقع من الوصفات يا ريت البنات تبطل تدور فى فلك راجلهى اهم من كدا بكتير ربنا والله ما خلقش الستات عشان يعبدوا الرجالة
What do You think about Intimacy: Das Buch Zum Film Von Patrice Chéreau (2015)?
I had heard of Hanif Kureishi's name of course, but there wasn’t much chance I would have picked up any of his novels anytime soon had I not read about him in Amitava Kumar's highly engaging book, Bombay-London-New York. The book is about Kumar's struggle as a writer and the numerous literary influences which shaped his life and craft. The book had an enormously interesting description of author, playwright Hanif Kureishi, known for his controversial, soul-baring and highly sexed up prose. The way Kureishi sees it, life is the proverbial Wasteland, everything is ‘fu*ked up and there is no way out it seems. Being a sucker for cynical musings on life, my interest was perked up and I wanted to sample his writing.Kureishi started out by writing pornography. He went on to write novels. His relatives and people close to him constantly complained how personal details of their life cropped up in his stark novels. His book, Intimacy was especially embroiled in controversy, because it was intensely personal and the events that happen in the book are supposedly what Kureishi went through himself. Intimacy is about a man on the verge of leaving his wife of ten years and two adorable sons. His idea is to slink away quietly in the darkness of the night and never come back. In the very first page, the protagonist (Jay) makes his intentions clear. The whole book is in fact a long emotional outpouring of male angst and the unbearable loneliness and emptiness that has crept into his marriage and life. Jay's emotional response is to bid goodbye to this meaningless existence where he feels claustrophobic, unloved. His wife Susan, by Jay's own assessment is a dexterous woman, who can cope well with things. Her range of feeling is narrow and hence she can keep things simple. Like most busy mothers, robust practicality overrides other concerns for Susan and her toughened stance on daily matters stands in contrast with the protagonist’s lax, carefree, desultory mind that wants to escape the grind of domesticity and its accompanying rigours.The rest can be read on my blog, http://sandyi.blogspot.com/2009/12/ha...
—Sandhya
I would love to give this book a 5 star rating. But only one question prevents it "What if its my father?". An excellent and extremely dangerous book. Its like Sofia Cappollo and Sam Mendes sat together to write something which is a sequel to 'Lost in Translation' and a prequel to 'American beauty'. Engaging and yet edgy Mr.Kureshi has pulled off a ripper and gives us a world of emotional-sexual turmoil(Its autobiographical you see). It is so real,for example the man watches his children with all the tenderness and respects his wife. He describes her as hard working and talented. But this man is not all perfect. He cheats. He is mean. He is jealous. He is a man for god sake. But he yearns for his wife, here comes the dilemma, his yearning is physical-cum-emotional. Its like a proof or a strong beacon... something to hold on to the relationship. Beware ladies and gentlemen its not a book for you folks its for insecure-crazy people(I mean... err Dudes). Argue over the book I don't mind, Say its crap I don't care. To me its one of the most important works I have ever read. This might shape my ideas about a relationship and the idea of monogamy. The morals and ethics are separate issues don't confuse them with ones idea for an ideal relationship if you come charging at my stance (It's fiction take it that way).
—Venkat Narayanan
I've read a lot of harsh words about this novel, and understand - but disagree with - the kind of "offence" many feel. This also seems to me to ignore the fine shifts from the bleakly honest commentary on what it is to find oneself stuck on the thorns of the age-old dilemmas of love (and having fallen out of it), to the details of tenderness for the innocents in this kind of mess - the children.One may feel the language is a bit awkward now and again, but the literary achievement of the book (one I've not seen noted in reviews, perhaps overwhelmed by the content of the novel) is the effective presentation of a mind on the move, shifting and turning on the horns (okay: thorns) of a dilemma, but rarely requiring more than a moment's reading reflection to recognise the movements in time.And the final paragraph of the book is extremely provocative...Kureishi is always an interesting listen when interviewed, and this searching interest in what it is to be an ordinary, fallible human comes over well in this text. Likeable? Is this how literature is to be judged? Worthwhile.
—Jon Lindsay Miles
