It's Not You, It's The Dishes (originally Published As Spousonomics): How To Minimize Conflict And Maximize Happiness In Your Relationship (2012) - Plot & Excerpts
To review this book (Spousonomics)I have to reference another book I just started reading:I just picked up Jared Diamond's book "The World Until Yesterday" about traditional societies. Right in the beginning is a striking point - the vast majority of "studies" we read are from societies he calls W.E.I.R.D. (Western Educated Industrialized Rich and Democratic.) Not only that, but even more specifically tons come from studying kids in Psychology majors. The problem with this is that there are lots of different ways that societies, and in this case marriages, can work. But the authors of this book feel like they did even LESS digging than most books. Basically every single relationship is between two stock traders or hedge fund managers. It just comes across as really shortsighted, and annoying.They even specifically talk about "confirmation bias" in this book - seeking out things and selectively listening to research or advice that confirms what you already think. I can't think of a worse example of this than only testing all your little marriage/economic theories on such a small set of people pulled from a pool with which you are utterly familiar.Anyway, probably not worth your time. There was one useful thing I gained from the book which is why it has two stars and not one - choosing and dividing chores based on competitive advantage. That chapter is worth a read. You can skip everything else. Forget about self help books that promise you a happier marriage in 300 pages. Forget about shrinks that tell you to ���talk it out���. Forget about your in-laws who give you age old advice that just doesn���t work anymore.I���m not trying to put those methods down, but simply present to you a new way to look at marriage and deal with the problems that come with it. The authors, Paula Szuchman and Jenny Anderson, bring forth an innovative idea by drawing a parallel between marriage and economics. They go through some issues that (could) occur between two married people and look at them like economic problems.I think the book is beyond original and innovative ��� it���s pure genius. Who would have ever imagined that the forever taunting problem of who should do the dishes or who���s turn is it to take out the trash could be solved through a simple economic concept called division of labor?!? Most of today���s married people obsessively attempt to divide up the house chores equally between the two partners so that ���it���s fair���. But randomly splitting up the work almost never leads to the desired equality. In this specific case, the authors suggest specialization, specifically splitting up the work based on which spouse can do a chore relatively better or faster than the other spouse. Dividing up the work this way leads to increased effectiveness and saves the couple time that they can spend enjoying each other���s company.Other economic principles that apply to married life, and are also covered in the book, include Incentives (or, getting your spouse to do what you want), Trade-offs (or, the art of getting over it), Supply and Demand (or, how to have more sex), and Moral Hazard (or, the too-big-to-fail marriage).I should mention that the insights offered in this book are not only applicable to marriage, but to every relationship, since it includes important tactics on how to successfully communicate with and persuade people.
What do You think about It's Not You, It's The Dishes (originally Published As Spousonomics): How To Minimize Conflict And Maximize Happiness In Your Relationship (2012)?
What did I learn about economics from reading about marriage? Interesting approach ....
—Sindiya
Surprisingly good at de-assigning blame to spousal relationships.
—domwilliam
interesting, fun, and so very nerdy.
—nrbrechbiel4
