was just a kid, but I already had my dream job. I was the batboy for the Pine City Porcupines. The Pines were the baseball team in my hometown. They played in the Prairie League. I wrote them a letter in the off-season, asking if I could be a batboy. I told them that I would love to do it, that I knew a lot about baseball, and that I would work really, really hard. Dad said I should also send them a résumé. “What’s a rez-u-may?” I asked him. That’s how he said it: “rez-u-may.” “It’s a list of all your past jobs and your accomplishments,” he said. “I’ve never had a job.” “Good point,” my dad said. “But you do have a lot of accomplishments.” So I got on the computer and typed up my accomplishments. It took me all day. “I’ve never seen ‘I have my own résumé’ on a person’s résumé before,” Dad said when I was done. “But I worked really hard on it.” “Good point. It looks great. Let’s mail it tomorrow.” • • • I waited two weeks, but nobody called.