This week I booty texted three ex-boyfriends.” Cameron had gone off the deep end after running into Vegan Biter with his new fiancée. I pointed out that the silver lining of that particular run-in is that there is indeed someone for everyone. To save time, Cameron texted all three at once. I miss you. Come over. Well, all three came over. In fact, they all met in the elevator and drunkenly chatted about the proximity of a very delicious underground hot dog shop around the corner that fried their hot dogs before wrapping them in bacon and frying them again before covering them in both chili and cheese. A sad truth is that at three in the morning many a man will choose greasy food over sex that he likely can’t see through to completion. So they all set off together, and Cameron was left alone in her apartment. She was given the information from Maxem, her faithful doorman, whom she had also once tried to make out with after seeing her college boyfriend pushing a baby stroller down the street.
