Kiss Me Like A Stranger: My Search For Love And Art (2006) - Plot & Excerpts
I recently listened to Gene Wilder's 2006 memoir Kiss Me Like a Stranger while driving around Los Angeles. This is not a traditional life story memoir, but a series of moments that Wilder has chosen that exemplify the lessons of his life that taught him about two specific subjects: acting and women. Wilder honestly depicts how these two things have criss-crossed that made him the actor and man that he is. I'm not a big memoir fan, so was kind of into the non-traditional set-up of this rather than if Wilder went through all the parts of his life in order of small to large. There is still a chronological bent to this, it's just done so in short little bursts.As soon as I started listening to the book, which is read by Wilder in a gentle, warm tone, I quickly remembered just how much I loved him as a comic actor growing up. Like many people, I got my first taste of Wilder in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory [1971]. I am pretty sure I saw it before I turned ten and promptly went out and got the book. In my teens I discovered other classics starring Wilder in the 1970s. He had an amazing stretch in the 1970s: Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Sex * but Were Afraid to Ask [1972], Blazing Saddles [1974], Young Frankenstein [1974], Silver Streak [1976], The Frisco Kid [1979] and Stir Crazy [1980]. Let's not forget Bonnie and Clyde in 1967 and The Producers in 1968 either. Not too shabby, huh?When I was going over his IMDB resume, I was kind of shocked at how few movies he has actually done. I count only twenty-one films. While the quality of Wilder's work dipped as the 1980s wore on, it's hard to argue against his particular brand of comedic genius. By the time I saw Stir Crazy in a theatre in 1981, I was a bonafide fan, having seen him in most of the previously listed movies, even if some of the humor was way over my head or the sort of thing I needed to wait a few years to see to fully grasp. I thought Stir Crazy was the funniest movie I had ever seen for years after I saw it. Paired with Richard Pryor for a second time [Silver Streak was the first; he'd appear with Pryor in four films], the duo are mistakenly sent to prison and have to depend on their wits to survive the hostile situation. Gloriously low-brow and full of physical comedy, this was directed by Sidney Poitier [another surprise] and it has an unbelievably raucous, fast-paced and hilarious first hour before it becomes a completely different film in the prison escape sequence toward the end. Stir Crazy is still one of those films that I completely love even though I was only 11 when I first saw it.I consider myself a Wilder fan, but I knew very little about his upbringing or life. The most public element that I was aware of was his marriage to Gilda Radner when she died of cancer in 1989. I didn't know his original name was Jerome Silberman or that he was raised in Milwaukee. I had no clue that his early years as an actor he was dedicated to a more serious vein of theatre acting that involved membership into the Actor's Studio [when it was much, much more than a crappy TV interview show] and studying under Lee Strasberg. I had no clue how he met Mel Brooks and was cast in his big break in The Producers or that he wrote Young Frankenstein. I wish Wilder would have included even more movie stories from the production or from the set. It has stories, just not enough of them. Kiss Me Like a Stranger goes into the things I didn't know while also delving into his romantic life with a surprising level of intimacy and really gave me insight into the Wilder I knew and the Wilder I didn't know.
In Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Gene Wilder's character says, "A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." This idea has become his persona in the movies which has brought him many fans over the years. Wilder, star of hits like Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein, has written his autobiography. The title Kiss Me Like A Stranger was given to him by his late wife Gilda Radner of Saturday Night Live fame. While they were married, she vivaciously yelled out the title and told him to use it for something. Only after she had passed did he realize the significance it had for his life."I thought I'd go crazy if I didn't have something artistic to do... I started writing, and whatever had built up, after Gilda, then finding my wife, Karen, and then memories from childhood... it just started pouring out," said Wilder.The book is candid and entertaining. It is not laugh out loud funny as one might expect from a comic actor like Wilder. In many places it is sad and thoughtful. Wilder writes of his struggles with his family, women, religion, acting, and cancer. He utilizes dialogue between himself and his therapist to tell or to interpret events in his life. It employs a large font and substance for only two-hundred seventy-two pages which makes it easy to read but void of details about films. There is generally only one or two behind-the-scenes stories about each movie and none are outstanding.Janet Maslin, writer from The New York Times said, "Though this book is true to the nice guy persona that Mr. Wilder has used to such a fine comic effect as an actor, it is not without claws." It is obvious that women are prominent in Wilder's life and that his career takes a backseat to them. He is emotional but fair to the women involved in the various embarrassing scenarios mentioned. It does not seem that he is attempting to soil their names. He owns up to his mistakes and identifies the positives in the people he has surrounded himself with.The stance that Wilder takes on his many relationships is illustrated when he says, "How could it have happened that I found her at this stage of my life? If we had met twenty years earlier, it wouldn't have worked. I know that. I wasn't ready for her, and she probably wasn't ready for me." It seems that Wilder believes that the hardships in his life have shaped him and have given him the opportunity to experience happiness.Kiss Me Like a Stranger is not a quotable book but it is filled with insight. It is very frank about the fact that Wilder is not different from the masses. It might be slightly disappointing to fans solely of Wilder's films, but it should please those interested in his personality and life experiences.
What do You think about Kiss Me Like A Stranger: My Search For Love And Art (2006)?
What a fantastic and fascinating read!I really loved finding out more about Gene Wilder and his life and career through this really personal and telling memoir. Much-like an interview I saw with Wilder from way, way back — here the author gets into some of the finer details without getting to impolite or intrusive into the 'kiss and tell,' intimate and more private aspects of his experience. Wilder proves to be one of the most thoughtful and tender people I've ever read about within his circle of actors, writers and moviemakers. I now admire his approach and work in a far deeper and more meaningful way. And its really quite helpful to read his perspective into love and life from the vantage point of a creative artist — to really see the challenges and how he struggled to live an honest life of integrity with real meaning and caring relationships with his family, lovers, friends and colleagues throughout his life. What a truly inspiring, beloved and creative man. Such an amazing book.I highly recommend this to anyone that's loved Gene Wilder's acting, writing and appearances over the years. And I also suggest anyone involved in the creative arts pick this book up and give it a go, as it includes many a valuable life lesson to consider and potentially learn from { plus its just really delightful writing }.
—lou
Life is strange. I read Wilder's autobiography because I read Gilda Radner's. I have enjoyed a lot more of her work than his; a lot of his comedy seems sort of slapstick (though he has written, produced, and directed a lot, and it may be I've seen some of this work and not recalled it as his).But when push comes to shove, he writes a better memoir. Radner's is intense, but one also gets the sense that as a person, she's kind of handful, and so I felt I had to read her through a filter of sorts. (More on that in my critique of her book.) He mentions a couple of times when she really difficult, but my sense is that he really treated her quite gently, given everything he did for her.From Wilder, we get a completely different sense. Of course he fixates on his career a bit, but then show business people do that. For that matter, so do most folks who are really involved in their careers. But he is able to look at the world and see it as it is, the humor, the sorrow, the joy, rather than holding it up as a mirror to see how it applies to himself. He talks about the people he worked with, his projects, and his life, but the--I hate to use the word narcissism, which is overused these days, but it's the only word that works here--isn't there. He is able to speak with grace, balance, and proportion, leaving the reader feeling as if he is a friend of sorts who lives far away.This was a fast read; bedtime for three evenings and I was done.
—Donna Davis
I read this after reading Gilda Radner's "It's Always Something". I thought it would be interesting to read the other side of the story and see what his perspective was. I had come away from Gilda's book with the idea that Gene Wilder was a saint. From his book, I concluded that he is altogether human, with faults and all. Still, he comes across as very down-to-earth, humble, and unfailingly kind.He went through a lot of tough times, in his career and his personal life. With regards to Gilda, a lot of the same incidents were mentioned, but his views of them were never as in-depth. He was still quite honest about her faults, but he was crazy about her. He has since remarried. One review of this book said that he really portrayed Gilda as monsterous, and that he gushed too much about his new wife. He never seemed (to me) to say an absolutely unkind thing about Gilda, and if he now "gushes" about his new wife, with whom he has found happiness, than he has earned the right.I probably would have given the book 3 and a 1/2 stars, if possible. I found the writing not too much better than that found in Gilda's book, but it was a bit more cohesive. And the truth is purely personal - I liked Gene Wilder before, now I am truly a fan.Finishing the book, I immediately wanted to do two things: 1) Rent every movie he has ever done, the ones I've seen, the ones I haven't. Now, that I know the creative process behind them, it would be so much more interesting, and 2) Write Mr. Wilder a fan letter. Okay, not so much a fan letter, more a note, just three words: "Good for you!"
—Lavonne
