Making Habits, Breaking Habits: Why We Do Things, Why We Don't, And How To Make Any Change Stick (2013) - Plot & Excerpts
Was hoping for some hard science on how the brain works when it comes to habits, but unfortunately it was just a lot of repetitive information describing numerous types of habits. I think most of us know when we have a habit that is bad or good I didn't feel like I needed chapter after chapter explaining it to me. Also the author seemed a bit condesending or shaming on the subject of certain habits without giving any personal stories or proof that he himself had ever really tried to break or form a habit. This book was not very well written and often felt repetitive and wordy without having very much actual information about how to curb habits or form them. Habits. These are my routines. the checklists. My non stop prob. What do I think of making and breaking them? I think all my checklist which I've ever used have failed. I just dont stick with charts. Aesthetically, I dont stick with (habits) anything.The habits I do have are just whatever i default to in laziness (read,eat,cofee etc)The only Good habits I have are what has been externally imposed,So what does this book say to me and my failures?-the way Im doing my checlist doesnt work because I'm trying to use a written thing as a "prompt"vs. letting my concrete "environment" prompt me. -my checklist is too all encompasing as well as not enough. I.e. it says "shower" and "coffee" and that is all of what is supposed to get me to change these habits.-checkists do nothing at all to dig at the deep unconscious nature of habits.so...ill just consider checklists "uselists"The poem I wrote in Spain on "without my choice"Habit change is hard cause we do so many things unconsciously. This is contrasted with "Intention" Especially because we are in an environment around THINGs were used to. Nor do we understand WHY we do things. He gives examples of "reverse intention" or "backwards thinking". Thats the sad desire to come up with a reason or reasonable explaination for your (useless) habit when actually there is no reason besides the fact that ages ago you started it. I imagine we dont like saying we do things for no reason (followed by repetition) or because of pure biologic imperetives.-he gives alot of examples whose sole point is that we are influenced by unconscious things (such as "priming"He thinks theres a huge battle between our habits and our conscious minds. 2 totally different things. as if we FORGET about our goals and are idiots on auto pilot. He's missing the tug of war. Most people trying to change habits dont just forget theyre trying to not smoke or drink or watch porn....they know. theyre conscious...Its just VERY difficult. We are not mere machines..dumbly responding single mindlessly.Dialectic...No, lots of my coffee habit is because it works for me NOW. Im not a total robot. Im not only on Auto pilot. I want to wake up. Same goes for my habit of late night movies. I only partly do it cause at one point in the past I started it and now im just robotically going through the motions.True, things like opening the door are like that or buying Ivory soup, but its only part of it.If habits and behavior are unconscious then its no use using the conscious (my intentions and willpower) brain to change them. So we must go about it differently. HOW?Im not buying the alcohol example(which is the main thesis of other yellow habit book): The REAL goal as socialization. People THINK its the alcohol they like. No, thats not true or it's only partially true. its both. Alcohol helps and makes you feel better. There are TWO GOALS= socialization and feeling good with beer.you may say="Just get to MAIN GOAL of socialization. Clarify that thats the goal" But its not. Its PART of the messy reasons we do in life. With me thats like saying that my coffee goal, only serves to wake me...so do something else to wake me. NO, to wake me is too black and white. Its wakes me in a very particular way, It tastes a certain way...it wakes me quickly with little effort. It is very controlled as in I know almost exactly how much it will wake me. Its not like "maybe it will wake me". so he cant say "just replace it with a shower and a jog"I like the "walking to the store example" Habits always take over. They are STRONG!!!!! They've built up and become cemented over YEARS. Goals are new and week in the face of these. really pathetic little things. twigs.Dialectic=he calls anything we do a Habit. In "thinking fast and slow" he never says habit...but he's talking about the same think. He calls our automatic behaviour, Habits.System 1 seems better to me. since not all our automatic behaviours are habits (ie. reflexes etc.)BUT...it is true that, as we buy what we buy because we bought it before, So most of our lives does seem to be repetition or Habit for the sake of the cozy feeling of Safety.His blatant piece of advice 1= Notice what our thoughtless automatic "habits" are. THEN we can try to change them SLOWLY.Cht 6-7. the middle of the book is way off the main theme of Habits and there unconscious ways. He starts talking about OCD and Anxiety and it all seems far reaching and out of context of the main idea of the book. As if he just HAD to cram all into his one theory. As if hes a psych student.After rambling in pathetic tips...He gets back to his Thesis with the IF-THEN idea. This works compositionally with the book. Since our environment (and hes a total behaviorist-with all its biases) is responsible for our unconscious reactions to it. we must be ready with a response to those "prompts" from the environment. This is his only compositionaly good strong advice. Since it ties into the strong idea he built regarding habits and the environment. Along with that he gives only one sentance to something KEY=do not rely on time, rather events and places to do or quit habits. why? you have to remember to look at clock, which is not realistic. He should have spent a chapter on this.He does a good job explaining why its not good to focus on end goal and to dorkily visualize the "path" that the goal. what it will look like GETTING THERE. possible problems getting there so i can prepare my IF-THEN.(IF-THEN is not the best wording. Habits arent IF's-by definition-they are WHEN-THEN'S)The rest of the book is study after study. Complete composition failure. Theres no main Idea to take away from this second have....theres just a bunch of unrelated TIPS. Some are good and some arent...but they definatly dont tie into the first half of the book and give one a feel for the idea of Habits that one could take away. So...cut this book in half and you have a great and helpful idea on habits and enough examples to flesh out what hes saying.---------------------------------------------------Where's this leave me and my habits?=I realize they are much bigger monsters than I thought. Getting rid of them wont be a simple "intention" followed by some rough beginning patches. No. If it took 20 to build a solid coffee habit, then its gonna take years to get over. Years. And it will ALWAYS creep up on me. Trying not to read so much did just that....I stopped for a long time and then it came back.the point there..AS WITH ALL THEORY..is that this is just a basic idea of habits.again, realizing the strength of them is huge....FOR GETTING THEM TOO. Any habit I want to GET will also take years. of course thats not always the case...I ended my drinking habit instantly...and smoking i gave up pretty fast also, both of which I'd done for years.so how do i start today to give up a habit or to get one?How does if-then handle unconscious habits?-So what to do TODAY??? well, realize today hardly matters when it comes to habits.(that's why the writer says messing up one day hardly matters). Today matters in the same sense that you are going to be a brick layer in a Cathedral whose plans are just now being written out.-make a plan. make an if-then. make it small."IF I'm tired and want a coffee...THEN ill have 75% of the coffee package"Also he brought up the environmental factor which DOES tie into the UNCONSCIOUS.
What do You think about Making Habits, Breaking Habits: Why We Do Things, Why We Don't, And How To Make Any Change Stick (2013)?
interesting book on why we do the things we do and how to change.
—Fiasonesson
Interesting concepts, however the book read repetitively.
—bethe515
