It's been at least a decade since I've read Marry Me, but I'll give it a whirl...In the next-to-last chapter, Jerry (like the prodigal he is) returns home. Courtly love/romance has ended appropriately; knowing what to expect with Ruth and maintaining his house--in cards, a marriage--have trumped desire. Jerry's relationship with God is restored through repentance and sacrifice--it's a Puritan, peculiarly American, type of ending, fitting for a realistic novel of manners. Giving up Sally is also Jerry's sacrifice to maintain the proper order of a courtly romance, where pining for a lady-love doesn't interfere with the social status quo.The book doesn't end there, though, because this is a postmodern romance, not a novel of manners. There's a triptych of endings, focusing on travel and East-West imagery. Eventually, all that circularity becomes clear; the cab driver points out to Jerry how East turns into West. (Not only do the twain meet, they turn into each other, much as Ruth and Sally shift for their respective husbands). There's no real difference in what direction Jerry (or his relationship) is heading. Unlike what's happened in the penultimate chapter, here there are no fixed forms in relationships, no home, only possibilities, shifting landscapes, in which Jerry's constantly in motion, imaginatively and physically. There's no real centering here, no place to return. I'm reminded of Yeats' "the center cannot hold." Maybe Updike's suggestion here is that marriage, especially an American marriage, is incompatible with the American sweep-you-off-your-feet idea of never-ending romance. There's a conflation in Marry Me about what's real and what's ideal. For me, the book's refusal to pin down an ending like a butterfly in a collector's shadowbox is what makes the book so lovely. An indeterminate ending says something about the late 20th century novel, as well as about the late 20th century world of relationships.I remember reading this book a long, long time ago in conjunction with Hawthorne and really liking the juxtaposition. PS Did you get my email? I have been having problems with my server.
I read all the reviews of this book before picking it at the book store. Now that I'm finished with it, I have to say I'm a little disappointed in a lot of you.The reason I actually read it despite the reviews was that like most of John Updike's books, once I started I couldn't put it down. I was literally standing in the book store aisle, 20 pages in and realized I didn't want to stop reading.John Updike has such a beautiful way of describing things. I love the settings he establishes, the characters he creates, and the language he uses. The places are always relatable. The people are vulnerable. The words are simple and elegant. His writing makes you feel.As for the subject, just because the story is tragic and you don't agree with the decisions a character makes, doesn't make the book bad. For me, the point of reading is to experience something I wouldn't or couldn't experience in my real life. I read to escape and gain insight to the emotions of other people.Isn't it interesting to think about what someone else is thinking? Especially in a situation different than your own?
What do You think about Marry Me: A Romance (1996)?
This book is depressing. The worst perspective on marriage I've ever read. Honestly, it is so far from what my relationships with men have been like that it didn't come across as real. But then, I've been faithful to my husband for 17 years. A great book to read if you are considering an adulterous affair, because you'll run away from that lover faster than I got this book out of the way (2 days). I would have never finished it if it weren't the book up for discussion this month. I'm interested to hear the other participants' opinions; it could tell alot about their life history.
—Jen
Rather boring exhaustive description of an affair between two married people that may or may not end with a divorce and, possibly, a wedding. Of the four characters involved, the adulterers stand out as being influenced by religion and rather stupid. I found one memorable quote, though: [He was seven.] He was the most logical of their children and without a theory of 'jokes' grown-ups would not have fitted into his universe at all.
—D
John Updike was the Mozart of modern American literature. There was nothing that he could not do well. This book is fascinating, quite apart from his wonderful prose style. It apparently is closely based on an actual affair that almost blew Updike's first marriage apart. He alludes to it in his book "Self-Consciousness", saying something along the lines of "I tried to break out of my marriage and failed." He did not publish the book "for personal reasons" while married to his first wife, but brought it out in 1976 after their divorce. He said that "Sally" commented later, "We tried to do too much."The controversial ending seems perfect to me. Jerry imagines the future if he had chosen Sally, then the real aftermath of his marriage to Ruth, then...a world in which Sally remains his ideal, always just out of reach, never real, and thus never spoiled, a world in which they will always be in love, and in which he is always just about to ask her to marry him.
—Mark Merenda
