Miss Strydent is not, certainly, the ugliest performer ever to have attained fame or fortune. Neither is she possessed of the most blood-curdling singing voice ever to reach the public from the silver screen or over that electronic marvel known as the cathode ray, or boob, tube. And, without digging very far, it is easy to turn up dramatic actresses who are equally unconvincing (or in two cases, even less convincing) than the woman known to the world as “Shur-lee Strydent, Star of Stars.” But never before in the long and sordid history of the motion picture star system has there been incorporated in one female performer such an overwhelming lack of talent, such a forbidding anatomical physiognomy, and such an ability to drive strong men to drink by “singing.” Shur-lee Strydent was born Gertrude Rumplemayer to poor and, to tell the truth, grossly dishonest parents ten years before the date given in the The Official Biography of Shur-lee Strydent, Star of Stars. That is to say, she was born in 1937 (not 1947) in the borough of Richmond, of the City of New York, which is also known to the cognoscenti as Staten Island.
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