With all the 50 shades hype I thought I would try this book. Its brilliant - loved the plot and how the storyline developed. There are a few surprises.I can see the raw edge of it all. I am glad I haven't read the 50 shades yet - this is perfect without any need for tweeks. The ending is left opening for a sequel.If I had to describe it - it would fall under 'Bridget Jones girly book with a bit more of an edge'Fantastic read cannot fault it!!! 1 and 1/2 starsProse: 2/10 (who says "down there" and "holy cow/crow"??!!)Plot: 4/10Characterization: 5/10 for Edward's past, the rest is al SMeyer'sEntertainment: 4/10Bonus: noneMalus: inexcusable glorification of an abusive relationship; extremely unfair portrayal of the BDSM lifestyleI think this review merits a small introduction.I read a few reviews of FIFTY SHADES OF GRAY before I had even considered getting anywhere near it, and subsequently resolved to keep my distance and dissuade anyone on my path from doing any different.Then a very close friend suddently posted on FB her deep , heartfelt desire for a Christian Gray of her own. A rather short-lived Whatsapp debate ensued (on our friends-group-chat, no less... let's just say the others weren't impressed), in which I questioned her sanity in wanting a clearly disturbed and overly controlling man abusing her. She was all "oh, but he's not an abuser, he's madly in love, and they have a contract and she can jump on him whenever she wants, and he's filthy rich and gloriously hot". I think the question of rape was raised, which I'm sorry about, since it later turned out that Ana/Bella was never less than willing to be fucked by her man. But the abuse, I could't let go.The discussion ended with her telling me that it's a beautiful love story and that I should really read it. I gave her a non-committal "de gustibus" and resolved to read this sorry excuse for a literary phenomenon and get back at her with hopefully renewed enthusiasm.That's when I realized I had no way of getting a copy of the book in English and for free for a while. Luckily, research has shown that the original ff which originated the trilogy is 89% identical to the finished book, and that 11% must account for all the name changes.So here I am: a week later and not one, but TWO books of the trilogy under my belt, courtesy of the overlong MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE ff. Needless to say, I remain unimpressed. What I wasn't expecting, though, is that I was also exceedingly underwhelmed.I'll admit that MotU wasn't all that I was expecting: it was incredibly less brutal and rage-inducing than anticipated, and at the same time far less sexy than a novel being marked as "soft-porn" ought to be. It also allowed me to have a few laughs at my friend's expense, 'cause let's face it: she looks down on anyone ingesting carbs or sugars after 5pm and once made me suffer through a whole meal with no olive oil on my meat or veggies because there was none in the house and she had no intention of buying it/letting me buy it... And then she goes on FB telling the world that she wants nothing more than someone who'd bully her into eating what and when he chooses. Please!!Anyways, moving on to the actual review... I think the best was to describe this story is bland. Bland heroine, bland sex, bland stereotyped story with bland plot "twists". As a ff, especially, once you've suffered through TWILIGHT, you figure out most of the story by simply reading the characters' names.Bella is your regular naïve little girl, with an average education, good understated looks and a good lack of self-awareness and self-esteem that makes you want to bang her head on a wall after a few mere pages. She's a little improved from TWILIGHT's Bella, in that she's generally more assertive and does give out the occasional snippet of education and wit, things which I'm still waiting to see from SMeyer's original.Other than that, though, her constant wining about being "unworthy" and "not good enough" are still as annoying as ever. I get it that the average woman reading a romance novel should be able to empathize with the main character and root for her because if she can find everlasting happiness with Mr. Perfect, then so can the reader. But either you do that, and you really give an appropriate rendition of a Mr. Perfect, or you chose to make your heroine actually beautiful, with men dropping at her feet at every turn, and Mr. Perfect being in awe of her beauty. You can't have it both ways, because a beautiful girl who keeps telling us she's actually not that good looking is frankly unbearable. Especially if she looks down on any single other woman in her life for being good-looking, wearing make-up, having an interesting hairdo, or, Heaven forbid!, having an honest and open, loving relationship with her partner.Edward is Edward. Rich and influential an not afraid to use his power to reach his means. Stalkerish and controlling. Here, a lot more so than in TWILIGHT, abusive.His big secret, here, is not that he's an immortal sparkly fairy, but that he's supposedly so very into the BDSM lifestyle that he requires his woman/puppet to not only be at his complete disposal every weekend but to also adhere to his personal standards every other day of the week. This translate to him not having any real relationship with women, other than a working one, based on a non-enforceable contract and a NDA, for sure, but a work relationship nonetheless. The perks for the woman is that she gets to be ordered around, which turns her on, if she's into the lifestyle, and get lots of expensive presents, without really having to commit on any kind of emotional level for periods of three months at a time. If she grows attached and he dumps her, it'll just be like any other break up and she'll adjust to it and move on (it takes a subsequent boyfriend dying on her, to throw one of the past subs over the edge and trying to get back at Edward).Bella is therefore the first woman to actually catch Edward's interest in the romantic sense, much as Edward is Bella's first everything. It's the usual teenage love story, and the change of setting is only an excuse to have the character move more freely around without having to explain themselves to their parents.Enough has been said, over and over and almost anywhere, on how Bella and Edward's relationship is as abusive as it ever was in TWILIGHT, and then some. I don't really want to rehash all that, even though I wholly agree with most of what is being said in that regard.What I want to make clear is that this story IS NOT, IN ANY WAY OR FORM, A PORTRAYAL OF BDSM OR OF A BDSM LIFESTYLE. The only BDSM characters in the story are, possibly, Edward's ex subs and, maybe, Irina, since we don't know enough of her backstory to judge whether she really is into to lifestyle of is she's just a rapist with a penchant for violence.Edward is not. He's not into BDSM for the sexual gratification and for the playful aspect of it. He's into BDSM because that's the only outlet he found for his pathological need for control and his hardly suppressed rage at life, at himself, and at brunettes. He finds some sort of short-term psychological release in beating up brunettes which remind him of his biological mother, and then he fucks them for good measure, since that's what his mother ever did: fuck and get beaten.Edward is basically an extremely disturbed person, who should be in real therapy. Also, it's extremely improbable that such deep rooted wounds would get cured by someone just passing by. That's science-fiction of the highest degree, not romance.A person like Edward should never be allowed anywhere near a BDSM relationship. Real anger has no place in BDSM, as does self-loathing.The only thing of any real interest of the whole ff is actually Edward's backstory, even though it hardly adds up to the rest of his bio, within the ff. Some good writer should pick up the story of an abused child and tell his long road to health and love from his point of view. And possibly make it believable.As it is, I can't help but find it impossible to reconcile the poor, hungry, beat up child, who spent four days with his mom's corpse and could find emotional release only when he was later raped by a BDSM enthusiast, with the adopted son of a loving, high-class family, with a M.D. father who was present when he was first brought in after his mother's death. Had Edward been left to his own devices, I might buy the fact that he'd be so messed up about his past in his late twenties. But somehow, I find it highly improbable that his loving and educated family never did anything even remotely useful to help him. So much that they'd actually despair of his anger-management issues at 15 and never bothered to investigate their sudden disappearance.As with Bella's characterization: either you make the Cullen's the best family ever or you choose to make them inefficient, useless, and uninterested idiots. You can't have it both ways. And since this is a ff, and you want to keep the characters as true to the original as possible, if you can't make it work, find some other plot. Or give up. Or keep is as it is, but when someone approaches you about changing the names and publishing your story, refuse. Or at least ask professional help in reworking the story.Let's face it: ff is fun and I've read it for years. But I wouldn't be reviewing this if it had just remained a ff (actually, I wouldn't even have read it). It's the fact that these unrealistic characters and improbable plot were barely questioned before the names were changed and the story was published as original that's infuriating. Once the book supposedly became it's own story, there was no need to keep Edward's parents faithful to SMeyer's Esmee and Carlisle. But Ice/James did and no-one called foul. It doesn't work. At all.
What do You think about Master Of The Universe (2000)?
It's great, the sex starts getting ridiculous after a while though. I love tormented Edward!
—Lanna
Totally loving this read! Not a fast read to me, but it definately keeps me interested!
—Tee
I thought it was something different...
—Victoria1714
