He was useless these days at guessing children’s ages, but from the height of the line of snot and ice-cream dribble gradually building up on his jacket, he thought they were probably around about seven. He looked with admiration at the teachers shepherding their charges and wondered that they looked so well on it, though one did seem to have quite a serious tic under one eye. He couldn’t move through the tide of little sweaty, screaming people, so decided to just ride it out. Actually, it could have been worse. What he was witnessing was Year Five of Tottingleigh School getting their reward for a recent Ofsted success. Had the virus not been stalking the land, their numbers would have been greater. He closed his eyes, to make the time pass more quickly. That way, he couldn’t see the tired décor, the only slightly bent life size figures of stars of forthcoming attractions. Tobey Maguire swung above his head, sadly just within the reach of the passing wag who had adorned his black spider suit with an extra willy made of half-chewed gum.
