Used to be home to Rex the Wonder Dog and the diving horses. I kid you not. Real, live horses would clip-clop up this forty-foot ramp, and do a four-legged half-gainer into the Atlantic Ocean. Kids lapped it up. These days, the Steel Pier’s home to a bunch of rides: bumper cars, crazy mouse, flip ’n fly trampolines, jump cycles, pumpkin wheel, rock-n-roll, wet boats. But the ride they really need, in my humble opinion, is a mind scrambler because right now my brain is all kinds of jumbled up. David Zuckerman invited Lady Jasmine to the show? So how come he and Richard Rock made such a big stink about her coming and begged Parker for extra security? And what’s with Mr. Wholesome Family Fun being in the frequent rubdown program of a cheesy massage parlor? Does he throw out his back on a regular basis sawing his wife in half? Or does he go there looking for the proverbial “happy ending?” And don’t forget last night’s drunk blonde—Sherry, the body double. Why was she searching for Jake Pratt, who is currently our only suspect in the murder of Kathleen Irene Landry because Lady Jasmine and her entire entourage have an airtight alibi for the time of death, not to mention no motive and no desire to steal Rock’s notebooks for Lucky Numbers since they figured out how the trick was done just by watching it?
