This is an unpublished story that's hosted on a free website, therefore, I didn't have high expectations. I never do when I read free stories on the web, after all, a lot of the free or cheap books that Amazon or iTunes sell are crap, and they, supposedly, have a publisher of some sort. It was such a pleasant surprise to see that Mahsa not only has a talent for writing but also knows how to create an engaging plot with characters you just can't get enough of. To be sure, there are definitely some tweaks that need to be made to the technical side of the story's writing. A few places where having an editor would have really come in handy, but those spots were easy to skim over and the story itself was powerful to outshine any types of discrepancies. The ending isn't exactly happy but it makes sense for the plot line. I'm already halfway done with the sequel and it more than makes up for this story's ending. I didn't manage to read all the book as from the first chapter I was put off by incorrect word use, excessive and plodding description and a lack of likable or engaging characters. Muffin was an irritating jerk and unbelievably naive and childish for an 18 year old street kid while for a supposedly smart business man Asher behaved like a complete idiot. I did scan through to the end and get the gist of the follow up but was still left with the feeling that the plot, such as it was, made little to no sense. While flashbacks gave some explanation to Muffin's behaviour it was still hard to believe that two grown men could fall for him. Obviously, unlike Asher, Vincenzo and some reviewers, Muffin's 'charm' failed on me. :-)
