My Tired Father My tired father used the thought-gazeHe hit something solid with a pole and turned to me with a triumphant airIn fact everything was limited to a sort of exorcism of fear Only the crossing to the other side of the gesture was importantI had heard of the terrible storms there and I had come to know themI made identical gestures the dial had no numbers and the sun shone somewhere very lowWeeping I asked for something to drink My wife mentioned Abend Oh if only he weren't at this moment above the masts in his barrel she sighed There he is and there he should stay I said And if he sails in a barrel he'll be in a fine spotAround the same time someone decided to dedicate his life to science (potassium sodium aluminum)On the other side two groups of three executed identical but inverse movements The second part corresponded to the first The third part excluded any countertendency and became a productA ball rolled on a floor thus transposing itself into a completely separate categoryEverything upset cried outBetween the two (parallel) walls only one man still practiced the old demonstrative functionsSpace was a kind of sequential panel on which I could apply anything at allOn waking I had a pulse just as blind and obscureWhile the intelligent students acquired sound knowledge within the framework of a demanding programThe language of sets was integrated in small dosesThe pendulum's oscillation on which I had meditated a long time showed me furthermore that there were many distinct bodies that in blending neither disturb nor exclude one another They were in some very distant placesA young woman appointed professor in a gigantic school resolved to love her studentsA photographer left his wife and felt compelled to accept the invitation of a priest retired to the south The priest succeeded in reconciling the separated coupleA man was stretched out next to his wife The ceiling reproduced the incline of the roofA yellow spot seemed to emerge from its own absenceTwo ladies told each other the scariest stories about the stagecoach They said it had turned over the day before they said that last year it had run over a child etc Speaking thus of catastrophes they came to the balloon that had recently fallen on British soilFor them even the meeting made sense even the walk in the mud with AbendWith that man alone lost in a black hostile immensity (many wanted to prolong their studies)I gnawed on a little crust of bread to annihilate the emotional force of reverieAfterward the thought lead me to the man fishing with bread He was neither my friend nor a close or distant relation He was small and green something of a recluse who says "ska-oo" and leaves his excrements when someone chases him from the tree trunk on which he has settledThe others did not let me even though I beat them with sticks and struck them with rocks They had no sense of discipline When I fell asleep they slid over me licking my lips and looking for meatNow and then I woke up punching whoever was on me He fled howling frightfully The others followed One time one of them slipped and kicked me in the eye When I in turn hit him the others wanted to tear me to piecesConsequently we longed for our muddled bodiesWe indulged ourselves on leveled ground while we pecked at the earthI don't know whether the feeling of encirclement followed on the affective void or vice versaI nearly forgot one detail the earth was completely covered with a carpetOn the following mornings I went to the university around nine o'clock My legs were tied on with straps and on my head I wore the usual crested hood like a dwarf People seemed quite disappointed with my very rudimentary technical equipment and tried to convince me to give up the hoodIt was a matter of finding again the central point from which each would have been able to return to his initial asymmetryIn selecting calligraphic works one voted with the aid of small pieces of cardboard As for the rest the selection was made by a show of handsIt was still more difficult with flat objects (for example the elk antlers)Through brutal but precise experiments I searched for an explanatory model because even the physical schema of agitation could no longer serve me as a basisI said bed for painfulThe horror of the void became once again its own inverted retortThe grand champion A happy dogOn the other hand I gave proof of remarkable qualities by becoming the lover of a dentist whom I absolutely wished to marry But her assistant for the sole purpose of discouraging me maintained that the dentist was already marriedIt was clear that she thus meant to attract the attention of the most influential and at the same time most sentimental circlesFrom time to time she collapsed with a bird noise A little while later a small mouse covered with yellow grass sprang up in her placeTo stop the penetration of the wax into her bones I lightly wetted them using to this end a paintbrushFive years later she enrolled in physics and mathematics courses She lived in an attic and subsisted on milk and fruitThen she asserted that she would to take me very far away to the OrientIn those days Abend came to repair the armchairs Francois-Marie I said to him there are those immense adjustable panels sometimes pink sometimes violet and they decompose us and we shineAgeless women gravitated around us The heads of some of them emanated lightThe visitors turned in a circle toward the leftThe dogs accompanied by trainers lined up for the obedience testThe apples fell on the grass and were eaten with devotionWe sat lined up in silence on the low ridge of the roof of a nearby building We waited without much hope but also because we had nothing better to doIn any case I can swear that all we could do was unleash a mechanism of possible action Those who showed the fewest signs were the most worriedThank you sir said a young girl with a charming smile I don't know what I would have done without youI don't know you but modesty is a girl's most beautiful adornment which doesn't mean much she told me on another occasionShe was one of the cleanest and most demanding creatures but when I visited her they warned me to watch out for her black-and-white striped legs that struck with the force of a catapultI touched her forehead and ascertained that it was as cold as marbleThe dog's mechanism kept working Its amorphous and disordered memory became richerI impregnated the untreated canvas I toned down the intensities I neutralized the shadows Fortunately the experience of space embarrassed most of usThe others appealed to the comforting feeling of confidence the sentinels gave and they over-estimated their prospects by eating decentlyThey rediscovered the plumb line and the double ladderThe calculation of the total points was made at well- lighted tablesConcomitant with the arrival of the eighth everywhereSomeone managed to press his face to the window before being beaten down with a stick and falling next to the wall where he was immediately and Pitilessly trampled underfootThe ball or the fire element digested Under another form it colored the liquid which it changed into blood And still it shone in our eyes and glistened on our skinAt table I sat next to an old man glad to be with me That's instructive he said His hair was graying and naive He was a widowerI waved my hat as the guests left But they were far away in the room with the Pompeian picturesA coach awaited me in front of the house I had to visit the forestA half-hour's walk could do me nothing but good for I was soaked and frozen but I went into the watchman's cottage and left him my little bottle of rum and my provisions for the roadA messenger on horseback came to meet meSome women passed by They stopped a moment greeted me then went on their way Their faces seemed very familiarAfterward I visited the swamps The watchman explained everything and his stories made a deep impression on me Pardon me for talking like this to you he used to say And perhaps that he was right The nine tubes produced nine tones The second tone was obtained by shortening the first tube by halfTo make the third tone the second tube also had to be shortened by half For the rest one manipulated small black sticksWhen I explored the grottoes a blinding light overwhelmed me and I regroupedThen I had at most an allegorical sense but even that was sustained more by force of habitI traveled through a symmetrical garden In its center next to the fountain were a pendulum and a chair From there I looked at the landscape and I said It seems to me that I've already come this way but the color prevents my recognizing the surroundingsIn that inexhaustible region there was a kind of signature on the sand if you will and I deciphered it with a complete lack of external sensesI did some enthusiastic reading in Malmo but not being able to put up with the climate I had to leave There I met Catherine Mahoney a young actress a real star (she lifted her eyes to the sky) My pohems enchanted her she adored me and her family kicked her out of the houseShe listened with true devotion with complete abandon to each word I spoke and never offered her own opinionAll her deepest inclinations and especially her predilection for silence brought up in a strange way the ease with which this frail and gracious creature could penetrate any word whatever and transform herself into that wordA few constant signs warned us of other sometimes accessible meaningsI listened to how the exaltation I knew so well reflected in her voice but she brusquely interrupted herself as if she were awake and put her hand on the boat's railing and on my handWhat made understanding more difficult was the permanent solicitation of ambiguityAt a certain moment that I would be tempted to place toward evening I grabbed a ladder I leaned it against the wall and I got ready to climb up to herThat's when I received that blow between my neck and shouldersAt her age girls sleep peacefully but I had seen her suddenly wake up get out of bed and go out She went as far as the gate There she sat down on a rock and started to cryShe put on her most beautiful dress When she saw her father she no longer feared him she had the strength to stop obeying him Making a gesture with her hand she whispered to him only in passing I'm saying farewell for the third and last timeI sprayed her face with water in an effort to wash off the mud I took care always to have my back to the embankment I untied the stone I took the shell out of her mouth I took her in my arms carried her to the car and put her down between the front seatsBorrowing a bicycle I was going to tell the driver that I had arrived then I hid beneath the sandy shoals in the muddy waterWhile the parents crowded in a circle with a contented look congratulated themselves on their partially articulated speechThe watchman somberly flapped his wings and pointed out some obscure thing in the northUpon her return to a small island she gave birth to a daughter The little one came into the world so unexpectedly we were forced to put up at a castle Mother and child found shelter there but her heart was broken (she wiped her eyes with her index finger)After the ceremony there was a dinner during which I chose a name I improvised something about it then I asked that they take the chairs from the room so we could danceSomeone went behind the house to check on a water drop Maybe it was inherited or a recurrence of the rhythmical phenomenonThe old winged author of foodThe conversation remained fixed in the bonesCertainly there was a physical resemblance but it could well have been just a simple coincidenceA month later I encountered a pedestrian who whistled as he approached us I heard his whistling before I saw him Still whistling he passed Catherine and continued on his wayA few days later I spotted another pedestrian a small man walking behind Catherine without anyone hearing his footsteps I had the impression she hadn't noticed him that's why I told her Let him go by We walked three abreast and Catherine Mahoney was at the side of the roadFrom time to time Iran into two individuals always the same ones who wore around their faces a kind of white collarette If I looked up I saw only the skyA rather curious detail When I went into the room I always found it full of cotton batting and broken tiles The windows and the door were always shut tightCompelled to leave on the first morning train I examined the ground under the window of the room and found no tracesSomeone was saying that all these things were due to a magnetic force unleashed either by the peculiar nature of the terrain or of Catherine Mahoney's bodyRecently I had succeeded in endorsing her prototypical character and in confirming the similitude linking her to the sands techniqueI had invented a velvet-lined solar system Its poles generally pointed in the same direction but with a little more vertical inclinationAfterward I moved up to a narrow orange margin with a white cornerWe had been together for more than ten years an unusual thing if one takes into account the brief existence of the othersAfter the birth I moved to another houseAs a professional in various bands I had studied the tuba the electric bass and musical instructionBefore an excited crowd I noticed that my hair had turned grayI played saxophone clarinet and fluteI played saxophone and clarinet I was the youngestI played saxophone oboe and French hornI played trumpet fliigelhorn and piano I had received a scholarshipI asserted that we were witnessing a slow and general atrophyI manifested myself by closing my eyes and opening them but in the most frequented rooms I stamped my feet and snapped my fingersThe space between the walls had been filled with earthOne of us (the drummer) would say nothing One fine day he declared to the horror of everyone present I don't know what's the matter sometimes I feel utterly aloneHe turned to the others and said It's absolutely necessary that I phone homeWhich lived under the waters of the sea(The notes in question belonged to the translator Dr.
