I can honestly say, from the bottom of my own very sick-and-twisted horror/mystery fan heart, that this is the best and goriest black comedy I have read in ages! If Christmas means glittering red garlands and ornamented green trees, consider this novel as a gift for your loved one's with their own black hearts: Give them bright splashes of red blood on well-manicured green lawns. Happy hair-raising holidays!As envisioned by Ania Ahlborn, "The Neighbors" living next door to Andrew and Mickey are sick, sick, sick. Which, if you say the last few words really quickly, sounds a lot like a certain notorious three-digit number. (Pause to think a moment if needed.) Yeah, *that* number - the house next to 668.Old childhood friends Drew and Mick both desperately need each other's company for very different, but equally sad reasons. Also for reasons pathetic, twisted, perverted, nefarious -- well, I could go on. But I'm willing to bet you like a mystery or two to keep you guessing, gasping and maybe even guffawing at the wonderful almost Monty Pythonesque gory situations. (Go rent "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" after you read this dark and wacky novel and you'll see what I mean.)The just-post teenage pals live in a -- um, how to put this? -- a less-than-stellar fixer-upper. Oh, O.K., it's a dump, an eyesore! No one in his right mind would choose to live in such squalor. So, why does Mick? Come to think of it, Drew's pal from yesteryears *is* acting a tad strange, but then again, Mick's a stoner. And aren't all potheads a bit off? Drew, while no clean freak, can't take the funk and goes on a scrubbing spree using a chunk of what little money he has left after moving out of his alcoholic mom's house and in with Mick. Should he buy a filling, nutritious dinner, or some bleach, Lysol and rubber gloves? Yeah, that's just how bad Mick's place is. But Drew's grateful for a crash pad.Meanwhile, next door, the one with the unmentioned house number (and said numerals are actually never specifically written out during the entire novel), live the seemingly affable Red Ward and his drop-dead gorgeous wife Harlow. Polish writer Ahlborn makes obvious but fun allusions in giving the couple a last name that was the first name of a father from a famous black-and-white American sitcom. (Follow all that?) But seriously people, this couple looks as if teleported from some 50's-TV alternate universe and plopped smack dab (complete with polka-dotted, apron-adorned dresses, red kitten heels and ascots, slacks and ties at dinner) into 21st-century suburbia! These ain't just some small town neighbors who graciously come over with warm cookies almost as soon as the moving van drops you off, folks! What they really are is ...... sorry, not gonna tell ya! What I will tell you is that the alluring Harlow. Nah, it's not allure she possesses; it's flat out, in-your-face, I-want-you-baby, let's-clear-off-the-kitchen-table-and-get-busy, hot-as-steam sex appeal that the flaxen-haired Harlow commands! (And now we evoke a '30's blond bombshell.) But this book's Harlow is old enough to be either boys' mother. Oh, and let's not forget she has a hubby. But for a few guys, that's no obstacle. In fact that may be true for a whole lot more than just "a few" guys -- if ya get my drift, especially if weren't talking barely legal, young studs, who are not deterred by the presence of her doting husband. But as sexy as she is, she is also inherently sad, as are all the well-rounded characters in this novel. But that doesn't mean you won't cheer when they may or may not get slaughtered. Or you may be certain they are as dead as the parrot in Monty Python's famous sketch. And, then again, maybe they're not dead yet. Twist, turns and many a tantrum with murderous outcomes ensue. I agree with prior reviewers that this book is agreeable if you do not expect much in the way of plot development, character development, and "thrills." There is not much description given except to the decrepit condition of one of the houses. Also, I find it very unbelievable that so many men would let Harlow browbeat them the way she does, but whatever--it was a quick, interesting read, and it was interesting to have a female anti-hero for once.
What do You think about Neighbors, The (2012)?
June Cleaver meets Psycho. Recommended if you enjoy the words Gore and pulp repeatedly.
—idk
Liked it, crazy out there but that's to be expected. Good story, well written.
—cgee
