Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets To Success, One Relationship At A Time (2005) - Plot & Excerpts
tWhen I first sat down to read "Never Eat Alone" by Keith Ferrazzi, I wasn't 100% sure what to expect. I knew that this book was going to attempt to teach me how to succeed in marketing, business, and other aspects of my life - therefore, it was probably going to come off a bit like an advertisement itself. And the cover backed that up, as the one word that I would use to describe it is "safe." Navy blue words written on a solid sheet of orange? This didn't exactly revolutionize my idea of cover art; it seemed to be there for no other reason than to appeal to as many people as possible. But then I read through the first couple of pages, and never has the old adage "don't judge a book by its cover" been more appropriate.tKeith Ferrazzi is a man who clearly loves what he does. He loves it so much, that he has written a book in the hopes that other people will be able to enjoy their lives as much as he does his. Throughout this four act book, Ferrazzi shares with us his seemingly endless collection of stories, detailing the many ways in which he found success. And he does it with such an honest optimism that it makes a reader think, "Wow, I could really take these stories to heart and improve my life." Perhaps my initial worry that this book was going to read with the same tone and passion as a high school marketing textbook were unfounded. Here is a man who has centered his entire life around being friendly and approachable, and it shines through his writing.tAnd really, that's what this book is all about: the idea that, to succeed in life, you need to meet others, make connections, and cement friendships. Always have a group of people you can rely on when you need help. Ferrazzi spends a considerable amount of time talking about how, if you're willing to help people out, people will help you out right back. "This karma-tinged vision of how things work may sound naive to those who have grown cynical of the business world. But while the power of generosity is not yet fully appreciated, or applied, in the halls of corporate America, its value in the world of networks is proven." (15) This sentence may have been the first one to spell out why I was enjoying Ferrazzi's book so much - he goes against every stereotype one can think of for a business mogul. Here is a guy who has been successful beyond his wildest dreams, and he is telling us that to succeed in business you have to make friends and lend a helping hand as much as possible? These are points he hammers home, backing up these ideas with story upon story of people he has met and stayed friendly with even after all these years. This is what an average reader (such as myself) wants to hear; I want to believe that it is possible to make it in this world by being friendly, and Ferrazzi does a great job of making that dream seem a little more plausible.tNow, when I say he hammers these points home, I mean he really hammers these points home. And this is probably the biggest shortcoming of the book. Ferrazzi clearly means well and is good at what he does, but he is perhaps not the best writer, and tends to repeat himself to the point of being redundant. "Goals, like everything else I write about in this book, aren't achieved alone. With a plan in place, you're going to need reinforcement to stay focused." (33) and variations of this sentence can be found every few pages. However, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Ferrazzi wants us to take something away from this book. He genuinely wants us to improve our lives once we finish reading. And by repeating himself and his key ideals ad infinitum, it makes his lessons that much more permanent in our minds.tWhen one sits down with a book such as "Never Eat Alone", they typically have one goal in mind: to take something away from the experience. Thankfully, it seems that Keith Ferrazzi also had a clear goal when he sat down to write this book: to make sure his readers take something away. By being such a hardworking, down-to-earth, all-around nice guy, Ferrazzi is able to appeal to an incredibly large audience. Who knows? Perhaps Ferrazzi is actually your typical strict, independent businessman who is only out to help himself, and he simply wrote this book to make a pretty penny. But the sheer amount of sincerity that seems to ooze from every page has me thinking otherwise. "I learned that real networking was about finding ways to make other people more successful. It was about working hard to give more than you get. And I came to believe that there was a litany of tough-minded principles that made this softhearted philosophy possible." (9) Ferrazzi states this on the ninth page of his book. That life isn't all about succeeding on your own, but about helping everyone succeed together. And I think that's something everyone could pitch in with. If you're looking for a good read starring a man who proves that not everyone is in the business game to make a quick buck for themselves, I can't recommend this book enough. Thanks for reading.
In my efforts to spread the word about OptimWise, my technology services company, I've been attending more local workshops, lectures, and networking events. After hearing a few people recommend this book for networking advice, I decided it'd be worth my time to check out.It's too early to tell whether this book will improve my networking skills, but I'm definitely optimistic. Ferrazzi packs the book full of advice, tips, and anecdotes from his personal life. To add credibility, he also references a few studies and statistics.The book's title comes from Ferrazzi's recommendation that you never eat alone; he uses sharing meals as an example of one way to include others in whatever you're doing. Ferrazzi's main idea is that instead of cold, calculating, traditional networking, you should make genuine friends. First make friends, he says, then make them clients. The more people you know, the more opportunities will come your way, and the more help you'll get. Your circle of influence will widen naturally.Early on, he says you must find your "blue flame": the intersection of your passion and talent. This is where you can be most successful. Then, share your passions; invite people into your personal life by sharing meals, hobbies, and events. This will lead to the friendships required for his form of networking.Another point he hits several times is reciprocity; again, not in the traditional "I'll scratch your back if you'll scratch mine" way, but giving without keeping score, then benefiting from the inevitable return of favors. He says to give generously and ask for generosity from others.I agreed with most of Ferrazzi's ideas, but not with one he presents at the very end. He proposes that there's no such thing as a work/life balance, because if you like the people you work with and the work you do, there's no need to distinguish between work and personal life. I don't buy this, because although you can become friends with colleagues and business partners, it's not always possible to work with your family and friends, the people that we most enjoy spending our time with.NotesAsk not what people can do for you, but what you can do for them.Create a Relationship Action Plan1. Set goals for every 3 months and year, 3 years out.2. Identify the people, places, and things required to meet those goals.3. Reach out to the people who can help you achieve your goals.Create a board of advisors to act as cheerleaders and supervisors.Be bold and willing to ask; it never hurts to ask.Become an active member in clubs, and work up to being a leader.Meet 1 new person per week, no matter where or how.Research people before meeting them to find common interests.Warm calling1. mention a familiar person or organization2. state your value proposition (what you can do for them)3. talk only enough to set up a face-to-face meeting4. aim high, then compromiseInvite people from different parts of your network to events so they get to know each other.The quality of time you spend with people is more important than the quantity.Follow up within 12-24 hours of meeting someone1. cite something specific you talked about2. ask to meet again3. offer them something so they want to meet againMake a connection quickly1. look them in the eyes2. listen intently3. ask personal questions4. reveal your vulnerabilityConnect with "superconnectors" (well-connected people outside your profession).Avoid safe, boring talk. Talk about religion, romance, politics, and your passions.Listen attentively and use people's names.Help people with the 3 most important things: health, wealth, and children.Become an indispensable power broker, helping others succeed.Ping your contacts at least a few times each year to stay in touch. Birthdays are the best time.Throw dinner parties with a mix of people.Use "anchor tenants" to bridge to others outside your social circle.Connect with the famous and powerful through organizations, clubs, conferences, fundraisers, nonprofit boards, sports, etc. If you can't find a club, start one!
What do You think about Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets To Success, One Relationship At A Time (2005)?
This book goes into the Top 10 Must Reads that I recommend to everyone in every profession. The principles of "connecting" strike a nerve of truth that gives power to the actionable steps the author suggests. I love the new vocabulary that this book gives us in reference to networking. Essentially we learn in this book that relationships are our greatest assets and that our best relationships are those in which we create high value for people we care about. This is the skill that must be honed. Caring about more people and discovering how we can create more value for them.
—Jacob
At first, Never Eat Alone made me think that it must be exhausting to be Keith Ferrazzi. He is always on the move, meeting and connecting people. But then, as he explains in the later sections of his book, he has blurred the lines between his business and personal life so that, in essence, they're one and the same now. He mentions celebrating his birthday at a business conference and feeling like he was surrounded by friends because they are his friends. I suppose in the new social media world, that this integration of work and private life might become the new norm, but I found myself a little bit put off by the idea. It's not that my co-workers aren't my friends (they are!), I think I'm just concerned that any stresses from work might bleed over into my home life if I tie those two networks together too closely. What stresses could librarians possibly experience? You'd be surprised...My favorite parts of this book were the small grey boxes at the end of each chapter that highlighted examples of great social networkers from history (even though it wasn't called networking back then). Who knew that Paul Revere and Ben Franklin were such movers and shakers? I didn't.The chapter that I learned the most from was 'Be Interesting', a section about becoming a content creator. One of my most enjoyable responsibilities on the job is newsletter writer/editor. I'm constantly poking around the library (and my coworkers) for new developments, trends, books, essentially things that other people may find interesting to write up in the monthly publication. It is rarely ever a slog to patch the newsletter together because I get to hear about the newest library trends first, usually directly from the people who are putting the programs or policies together. It's exciting to be on the cutting edge, getting the word out to let other people know what is coming down the pipe. This chapter had some great tips to help me hone my skills in not only the gathering of my information, but my personal and professional development to make that even easier in the future.If you enjoyed Never Eat Alone, I'd suggest picking up The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work by Shawn Achor and Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World by Michael Hyatt.
—Heidi Wiechert
In the eyes of Keith Ferrazzi, success – in our careers and in life – is all about relationships. Everything in our universe is related to everything else through a relationship. We must develop, establish and nurture our relationships in life. We live in a fast paced life and a connected age, where the day’s minutes would be hard pressed to be further packed with communication and staying in touch. Ferrazzi lives and breathes the fast pace of life. Living at the same fast space, he shares here an authentic approach to networking and building life’s relationships, one at a time.The essence of Ferrazzi’s success is not just networking. It is a 3-fold approach:(1) network to build trust first(2) help people before asking for favors(3) do it all with sincerityOkay that's all great but does that mean we do that at every single meal? Hmmm. Not so practical. Or even scaleable. Or even desirable!Now I did like this a lot: The author's sincere interest in helping others before thinking of his own success, and in fact, that may be the secret to his success. To be truly interested in making yourself useful to others first, even if there is no return for your favors immediately, is his philosophy. Ferrazzi’s approach to networking in “Never Eat Alone” is original and effective but very hard to get on board with in the level of intensity that he preaches.Much of the challenge with networking is the misconceptions – it is exactly everything you want it to be. It is as real or as fake, as fun or as boring, as effective or as big a waste of time as you make it out to be – but do not blame networking and building relationships when you have poor results. It is the approach and intent that needs to be revisited and perhaps that can be the best takeaway, but still, giving it just a very high 3 stars.
—Farnoosh Brock
