I pulled into Rick’s driveway, whispered a prayer that I could get my head together and killed the engine. As he always did, he came out the front door before I was up the walk. I faked the most convincing smile I could. “Hey.” I wrapped my arms around him. “I’ve been looking forward to seeing you.” At least that wasn’t a lie—I still wasn’t sure I could conjure up the energy to be what he needed tonight, but just holding him and kissing him here on his front porch was enough to shake some life into me. I had been looking forward to seeing him. I just wasn’t looking forward to the inevitable moment when I had to tip my hand. Not now, though. Tonight, I needed to be what he needed. We exchanged smiles. Another kiss. No words needed to be said—we both knew what we wanted. Or rather, what I would have wanted in the lifetime that existed prior to facing down my bosses. In silence, he took my hand and led me inside, and then we were on our way up the stairs, and I felt like shit.
