Not Under My Roof: Parents, Teens, And The Culture Of Sex - Plot & Excerpts
Parents, Teens, and the Culture of Sex The Normality of LoveLike their female counterparts, Dutch boys take for granted that young peo- ple fall in love. “Yes, of course,” says Berend, when asked whether teenagers can love each other. At the same time, the Dutch boys describe the state of being in love in more modest terms than do their American counterparts. As we saw, Karsten describes being in love as having “a warm feeling for someone, like a special place in your heart.” Niek also remembers that be- ing in love “was a good feeling.” Ben enjoys spending time with his steady girlfriend, but he is very low-key about how his feelings for her developed: “When I started to go steady with her, I kind of liked it but did not find it that interesting.” Then it became, “Yeah, this is fun, but not for really long.” And then his feelings about his relationship blossomed. He felt: “Jesus, I want to go on with this much longer. It feels really good the way it is going. This is good—nice and steady.”If Dutch boys use less exalted language to speak of being in love than do their American counterparts—as good feelings and relating, rather than as extraordinary feelings and commitment—they are also less disparaging about lust, which they tend describe as an integral part of being in love.
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