Last night I happened to read an article by a Mom who visited two high schools with her daughter. The student guide at both, as it happened, told how hilarious senior night was, when the seniors dressed as old people, tottering on canes, bent, with quavering voices, white socks, trousers pulled up to their ribs, etc. Ok, I get it. They are kids, they are part of our culture, they are dealing in the usual stereotype. In stark contrast, Kidder's book goes behind the canes and thick glasses and spends time with real people in a Northampton nursing home. The challenges these folks are facing display anything but weakness. The thing about old people is that they are as individual in age as they were in youth, if not more so.There are many people in the home, but he focuses especially on a few. Lou is a gem, but I got especially fascinated by Joe. At first Joe seems least likely to make the changes he needs to make to live the rest of his days well.What you see through Kidder's eyes is how remarkable ordinary people are. We operate under the supposition, which became widespread in the 19th century, that there is normal aging and pathological aging. It goes with a morality that celebrated individual success and individual control of health. "This new morality stripped away the spiritual solace that former conceptions of aging had offered every elderly person and replaced it with a dual view...a psychologically primitive strategy of splitting images of a good old age of health, virtue, self reliance, and salvation from a bad old age of sickness, dependency, premature death, and damnation." It is still very much with us.Joe of the fiery temperament, with powers greatly diminished by stroke, takes control of himself. Through his friendship with Lou he accepts his situation, and in the process improves life for those around him.Kidder's reflection is that the central problem of life at Linda Manor is, after all, "only the universal problem of seperateness: the original punishment, the ultimate vulnerability, the enemy of meaning."
I love everything about this work; its character development, its setting, its plot, its theme, its descriptions, its dialogs, its deep reflections, the author's vocabulary, his style, his sentence structure that makes the reading a pleasure, but most of all, what makes this work unforgettable is its humanity. I had this book sitting on my shelf a long time and never felt strong enough to read it, thinking by the description sitting down to read it would depress me. Having crossed that indelible line separating middle age from the so called senior years a few months ago, the work found its way to me. From the first line, I was trapped and unable to put it down. Not at all what I expected, the work is edifying and thought-provoking, philosophical and quieting. It's a fascinating voyage into a period of life most are apprehensive to reflect upon and yet this work underscores the power of our indomitable human spirit, always striving to overcome adversity, eager to find companionship, friendship, understanding, affection, love, and happiness. I recommend it without reservation.
What do You think about Old Friends (1994)?
This book is about the residents of a nursing home that Tracy Kidder visited over a one-year period beginning in fall of 1990. It caught my eye because my father recently entered an assisted living facility, and I'm of an age where the parents of friends are entering similar facilities. I'm curious about what life is like for people who can't live in their own homes any more. I was afraid it might be a real downer of a book, but it wasn't. It has plenty of sadness and loneliness in it, and it makes clear the many limitations that old age can impose, but there's also companionship and humor. Many of the people Kidder described were lovable, and I enjoyed vicariously spending time in their company and learning about some of the experiences they remembered. And people are people wherever they are; it's an inherently interesting setup when a lot of strangers find themselves in close contact, even without the drama of illness and loss. All in all, it was a very moving and overall enjoyable book.
—Mary
Loved this book. Takes place in a nursing home. Wonderful character development. It really is an insiders view of everyday life at "Linda Manor". Why did I like the book so much? The characters were my friends' parents.....and then I look at the ages.....and they are not much older than I am. I have friends of these ages. Am I reading about my contemporaries? Some might find this a sad book. I saw it as a portrayal of real life and friendships that develop. I will read other books by Tracy Kidder.
—Kathy
I really enjoyed this book, just finished it today. Tracy Kidder has a reputation for being able to take any subject and make it really interesting, and this was no exception. He spent a year at Linda Manor nursing home, doing research for the book, and recounts the daily lives, feelings, experiences, of the people living there.[Now in paperback, the national bestseller on growing old. Tracy Kidder has won the Pulitzer Prize and countless other awards for his bestselling studies of ordinary life. Now he confronts his most important and universal theme in this personal study of old age in America.:] (GoodReads)
—Judy
