TRIGGER WARNING : RAPE, swearing & violence in general► One thing I'm certain of is that this book isn't a romance. No. It's a sickening portray of a relationship where abuse in all its forms is romanticized, including rape.What kind of abuse? Please chose! Be my guest! Rape? Physical violence? Psychological harassment? Just fucking chose because it contains all those and more.➸ As I write, Once and Always has an average rating of 4.22 here on GR, with 7,149 people who think that it's a romance worthy of 5 stars. You can't imagine how much this fact scares me and I'll try to explain why in this review.This is going to be quick : I will spare you the plot which turns rounds and rounds in circles endlessly, the characters not willing to quit making idiotic decisions because really, it's not even the matter at hand. Just know that this story is filled with more dumb twists and misunderstanding nonsense than a vaudeville show. To sum up, a young American woman, Victoria, arrives in England shortly after her parents' death to be taken care of by Charles Fielding, a lifelong acquaintance of her mother. But the old Duke has an hidden purpose : to marry her with his illegitimate son, Jason. What interests us here is the relationship between the two 'lovebirds' (throughout this review, you can safely take my quotations marks as sarcasm). From their first meeting, Jason keeps threatening Victoria each time he thinks that she is going to go against his wishes, invariably congratulating her by a "Good Girl" if she ends agreeing with him. No matter how perfect she is portrayed to be, how interested he is supposed to be in her 'refreshing' behavior, it remains that his behavior shows something else entirely. ● She's sick? Oh, poor thing, he's going to give her some med. Nice, you say? "Drink it," he said calmly, "or I'll pour it down your throat"● The guy has really a way around words. Not conviced?"I'd like to wring your neck," Jason said, half-seriously, but he grasped her arm as she asked.I suppose that I should be happy to know that he doesn't fully means that now should I? ➸ I could go on and on and on about his propensity to be a bully, but perhaps the most sickening fact in all that is that we only began to scrape the surface of the issue. Just take a look at his reaction the day after their wedding : "Jason stood in the gaping hole of the doorway, his face white with rage, his voice hissing between his teeth. "Don't you ever bare a door to me again as long as you live," he snarled. "And don't ever threaten me with divorce again! This house is my property, under the law, just as you are my property. Do you understand me?"Victoria nodded jerkily, mentally recoiling from the blinding violence flashing in his eyes. He turned his heel and stalked out of the room, leaving her shaking with fear"Not to mention that he just crashed the door to come in. More generally, we are witnesses to so many scenes where he commits acts of violence against her that it doesn't comes as a surprise that she is scared to death by him. The fact that this behavior can be identified as expressions of passion sickens and infuriates me. No man (or woman, for that matter) has the right to resort to harassment in order to obtain someone's affection. The concept itself is so CRAZY and OFFENSIVE that it makes me want to hurl. From his earlier behavior, you might expect that he doesn't improve when it comes to the sexual development of their relationship. Sadly, you wouldn't be wrong. Basically, he physically forces her to give him their first two kisses. Kiss #1"This is what would happen!" he snapped suddenly, and his mouth crushed hers in a fierce, brutal kiss that was meant to punish and humiliate her. (...) Her struggle only seemed to make him angrier, and the kiss more painful. (...) Victoria saw something primitive and terrifying flare in his eyes as his hands tightened on her arms. She jerked back, a scream rising in her throat, but his lips covered hers, stifling her voice with a demanding insistence that stunned her into immobility."But surely after this kiss she has to KNOW that the guy is a violent asshole, right? RIGHT? Of course not, what do you think? She excuses him, fucking daydreams about it (because that was so passionate you know) and even more, feels GUILTY for it, first because she thinks that it's a normal behavior to have (the girl is so naive that's not even funny) and then because she is afraid that HE will think less of her because she LET him kissing her. I mean for fuck sake! It's obvious from the start that she never AGREED to this kiss, and the way the woman is shamed for HIS action shows an undercurrent of blind ill nonsense that maddened me. So she says nothing, because "perhaps she would only look a fool if she made an issues of it". So, what does he do? Why, he does it again of course! Kiss #2"A harsh laugh escaped him. "I like you too damned much!" he whispered bitterly, then pulled her head down and captured her lips in a demanding, scalding kiss that took everything and gave nothing in return. Victoria struggled in appalled, frightened earnest, bracing her hands on either side of him and shoving hard, trying to free her mouth from his. Jason swiftly plunged his fingers into the thick hair at her nape and twisted hard. "Don't struggle!" he said through clenched teeth, "you're hurting me.""You're hurting me, Victoria chocked, her lips less than an inch from his.Now tell me at what fucking moment I am supposed to swoon. Just fucking TELL ME. Am I supposed to be aroused after this? Am I supposed to root for them? Tell me for fuck sake! I'm lost! Because the only emotions that got through me were disgust and rage. But don't fucking worry, because after THAT kiss, she says, 2 pages later, "Perhaps he would despise her for letting him kiss her". I'm sorry WHAT? What in the world is that supposed to mean? He FORCED you! Sadly, things don't stop here. You know how much I despise when rape is used as a plot device or background to make a girl in need of 'fixing'. I hate that. But it's nothing, I say NOTHING, in comparison. Jason actually RAPES her on their wedding day. She is terrified because she's a virgin, she says NO, and he fucking rapes her. I don't care if they made a 'bargain' to give him a son, she had no idea what that meant, and even if she had, it's a rape nonetheless.[they are fighting before] "Visions of blood and terrible pain roared through Victoria, adding their horror to the nausea the wine was causing. "I don't want to!" she cried piteously. "We made a bargain, and as long as we're married, you'll keep it," he whispered as he pried her stiff thighs apart. Victoria whimpered as his rigid manhood probed boldly at her, but somewhere in the depths of her stricken mind, she knew he was right about the bargain and she stopped fighting him(*). "Relax," he warned bitterly in the darkness above her, "I may not be as considerate as your dear Andrew, but I don't want to hurt you."His vicious mention of Andrew at a time like this cut her to the heart, and her anguish erupted in a scream of pain as Jason rammed into her. Her body writhed beneath his, and tears poured from her eyes in hot, humiliated streaks as her husband used her without kindness or caring."(*) Is that meant to make it okay? I don't care if she stops fighting, she is obviously forced into this, so yes, that's a rape. The fact that he doesn't know that she's a virgin (don't get me started about their ridiculous misunderstandings) doesn't make it okay either. Just remember that the day after, when she comes to ask for a divorce, he threatens her. What you need to know is that despite her naive personality and her propensity to excuse Jason for his behavior, Victoria sometimes realizes that it's not normal and that she deserves better. Each time it happens, there is someone to tell her that she's wrong and that she must give him time to open to her. Excuse me but that's fucking BULLSHIT. I swear, each time I heard the old Charles Fielding or the Captain reassuring her and telling her that she had to be patient, I wanted to throw up. I think that it's no need to prove further that Jason is a psycho. So, no, I certainly don't want to read things like this : "You're wrong," Captain Farrell said with gentle finality [that's after the rape]. "Jason has needed a woman like you since the day he was born. He needs you to heal wounds that are deep, to teach how to let himself love and be loved in return. If you knew more about him, you'd understand why I said it"Excuse me what? She awes him NOTHING. It follows then a description of all the hardships Jason had to face in his past but you know what? I DON'T FUCKING CARE, because it excuses nothing. It doesn't make it okay. NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE. I won't endorse that wicked belief that condones violence under the pretext of a hard life. A few minutes later this gentle soul tells her that she should have sex with her husband to resolve their wedding issues because that's what wives do (I recall : he raped her). I can't fathom HOW exactly it's supposed to help her.More generally, in this book the women are either portrayed as sluts who throw themselves at Jason, greedy bitches who only want to take advantage of his wealth or as well, Victoria, pure and perfect virgin who knows everything from shooting to playing piano. Just give me a break. Not to mention that by all appearances Jason keeps his mistress while married, blaming Victoria because hey! He has needs (do I need to remind you that he raped her?). Yeah, he's class like that.As I said at the beginning of this review, this is not a romance, and the only satisfying way it could have ended would have been everything but a HEA. Sadly, as you might expect, they have their HEA. I apologize for the length of this review but it felt important to me to explain exactly why I'm giving it 1 star and why I'm appalled that this book is considered as a great romance by many readers. Never, ever let someone tell you - or even imply - that violence is forgivable. It isn't.
So I've been finished with this book for a few days now. I just wanted to give myself time to mull it over before deciding on my rating. The truth of the matter is, I didn't like this book...not until about 85%...and for a book to be just NOT GOOD for 85%, that's just too much.I will warn you that this review will contain some mild spoilers...or just spoilers that I'm not going to mark, but if you want to read why I would stay away from this story, read on. You've been warned.So first, I will say that this book started out so great. I loved the idea, the premise, the plot. The heroine was someone I could really get on board with. She was strong, she was independent (and for a woman of this time period that was saying something), she was just over all a really fun character to read about. She was even somewhat betrothed to a guy that I was completely in love with. The way he treated her, was her best friend, taught her how to fish, hunt, hike, rock climb, etc. He was AWESOME. And made the heroine into basically the person she was. However, once the events unfolded and she was forced to move to England this book took a turn for the worse. Ugh. Just thinking about it makes my stomach churn.I'm all for a broken hero, but this guy was way beyond damaged. He was just mean and cruel and just when you seemed to think he might soften, he hardened up yet again. He was unlikable, with almost no redeeming qualities. I should have known better, when, even after he seemed to start liking (or tolerating) the heroine, he was still bedding his "paramour". This is something I DO NOT LIKE. When the hero of a story starts liking or falling in love with the heroine, they usually stop all instances of even looking at other women. This should have been a huge red flag to me. Unfortunately I kept going. Not only was the heroine repeatedly treated unkindly by the hero, but she also, in a heart wrenching scenario that I just had to sit by and watch like a train wreck, is manipulated into marrying the "hero" of this story. I'm going to have to put that into quotation marks because he was no hero to me. On their wedding night, he mistakes some of her actions as revulsion, and so in their wedding bed he practically rapes her. Yes, you read that right. She is fighting him, kicking, clawing, saying no, and he just does what he does and leaves. This made me SICK. Not only that, but he never even apologizes. NEVER! He also goes right back to London and keeps sleeping with his mistress. NO FREAKING WAY. I was just done. DONE. Then, the author tries to give you this sob story about how when he was a child he was severely abused, blah blah blah. It in no way made up for his atrocious actions. I was sickened by him. Hated him. Just NO.Not only all of this, but the heroine throughout the scenario becomes weaker and weaker. I supposed, in her situation I can see why, but I didn't love her. She never voiced what she was thinking out loud, actually told her husband he needed to be discreet with his mistress so he wouldn't embarrass her, even though she was dying inside. Instead of cutting off his balls in his sleep like she should have, she just told him to be discreet. Then after discovering his past, all of a sudden she wants him and loves him. OMGOSH. The icing on the cake came toward the end when her betrothed comes back. Remember the manipulation I talked about before? About her having to marry the hero? Well her betrothed had sent a letter to the heroine's uncle stating he was coming for her to take her away to marry her. He (her uncle) had hidden this from her and pretended like he was dying so she would think she had no protector. The only way to save herself was to marry the hero, who was his son. So she did. Even though she despised him and knew their marriage to him was just a business contract. Her betrothed, not knowing she was married, came to the heroine to take her away to marry her. It was absolutely heart breaking...even though by this point her and her husband were supposed to be in love. Sorry, I didn't buy it. In one 10 second conversation he decided he loved her and then was forever the doting faithful husband? Ugh, no. I just couldn't get over it. The entire time I was praying the story would go that she was about to get married and Andrew (her betrothed) would show up and whisk her away. It makes me get teary to think about. I hated the "hero". The ending was good, and I liked what happened, but I just can't love this story. In my opinion the hero did so many awful things he could never be redeemed. I'm honestly baffled at all of the great reviews here. We have a lot of forgiving readers on our hands here folks. I am not one of them. You get 1 star for the beginning of the book, and 1 star for the ending of the book. But everything in the middle is crap. I'm so mad about this one, especially since Kingdom of Dreams is one of my ALL TIME FAVORITES. I should have just re-read that one instead. Yuck.
What do You think about Once And Always (2006)?
I can't ever really get past a hero who rapes the heroine, especially as he did in this one, purposefully and in anger. Yes, he is scarred and tortured and apparently is judging ALL women by his first wife who was evil, even women like the heroine who has proved herself over and over not to be anything like his wife. He's had some awful life experiences. But is that any excuse to rape a woman? And not really ever apologize? I also hate a hero who cheats on his wife the way he does pretty far int
—Rachel
"Loving someone who doesn’t love you is hell! Don’t ever let anyone convince you that you can be happy with someone who doesn’t love you"Words of wisdom from Papa!Quick question before I do my review - Why, oh, why do a lot of you NOT read Historical Romance? You are missing out on such a great genre. I know some of you like your dark, gritty reads but you can do both. I like, SUSPENSE, M/M, ROMANTIC COMEDY – PLEASE, to those of you who have not tried Historicals, give it at least a shot. Blame me if you don’t like them. Whether he was riding a horse or dancing at a ball, Jason Fielding stood out among his fellow men like a magnificent jungle cat surrounded by harmless, domesticated kittensThis is the third Judith McNaught book I have read. Why, have I not read more? Well one of the reasons is that a lot of her older books are not available as e-books so I have to go to the bother of ordering the paperbacks…. Did I say “go to the bother”? It is no bother at all, it is well worth it. … she caught sight of the dark, foreboding figure striding toward the table with the silent sureness of a dangerous savage, his buckskin breeches molding his muscular legs and thighs ….Victoria and her sister, Dorothy must leave America go to England after their parents die. They have relatives In England but had never been in contact with them. Dorothy goes to stay with her Grandmother but because of a family falling out, Grandmama does not want Victoria to stay with her so she must stay with another cousin.I must say, I loved Victoria. She was strong, independent, beautiful, nice, courageous. THE GREATER A MAN’S SOUL, THE DEEPER HE LOVESJason Fielding has had a tough childhood but he turned the tables and is now a wealthy man, the envy of many. But he is not a happy man. He does not suffer fool’s gladly. "Besides playing the piano, I can carry a tune, waltz without falling and embroider a fine stitch. In addition I can read French and execute a throne-room curtsy with great aplomb. It seems to me," she observed with an impertinent smile, "that in England it is quite desirable for a female to be utterly useless."I won’t go into much detail about the plot as I don’t want to give anything away. Yes, Jason was an alpha, overbearing ass but yes, I do love those types of guys. ” … love is an emotion that is used to manipulate fools. I neither expect nor want your love, Victoria.”I see a few reviews have mentioned the back story with Andrew and how it was not really resolved. Totally agree. In fact, she was beginning to wonder if England was filled with intriguing, ill-mannered, blunt people whose eccentricities were either encouraged or overlooked because of their titles and excessive wealthI loved the interaction with the Ton, the secondary characters, the Butler, Uncle Charles, O’Malley, the Duchess of Claremont – I felt I was watching a scene from Downton Abbey. Her mind told her to run, but her heart begged her not to be a cowardAnd to those of you have have not already …. YOU …. "He needs you to heal wounds that are deep, to teach him how to let himself love and be loved in return."Tortured Heroes – Cannot get enough of them!
—Mo
Once and Always is an earlier release for Judith McNaught and though I know I've read it before it's been so long, I had forgotten all about it. Because of this, I felt like I was coming to a brand new McNaught novel. Reading Once and Always was such a pleasure because it still holds up- after all these years- and it packs a powerful emotional punch. (Although I must admit not so much now as it would have back in the day because so many authors have copied her style.)Jason Fielding, embittered by a marriage gone horribly wrong, is not interested in marrying ever again. His father has other ideas. Charles Fielding wants an heir and he wants Victoria Seaton, the daughter of the woman he loved and lost years ago, to give his son that heir.When Victoria, orphaned and alone, shows up at Jason's Esatate he's sure she's yet another empty-headed, gold digger. But her free-spirited charm, kindness and sharp mind begin to weaken his resolve from the first moment he meets her.Victoria has sworn to never marry for anything but love and the arrogant Jason Fielding is the last man she would ever consider marrying, especially since she's already met the love of her life back home in America.Circumstances change though when she gets word that Andrew, the man she thought she'd spend the rest of her life with, marries someone else and the ailing Charles Fielding makes her promise to marry Jason while on his deathbed. Feeling betrayed by Andrew and strangely attracted to the man who would be her fiancé, she agrees.Misunderstandings ensue when Jason, for self-preservation reasons- pulls away from her soon after their marriage. On top of that, Andrew suddenly appears, unmarried and desirous of a re-connection with Victoria. When Victoria discovers that Charles and Jason tricked her into marriage- she abandons the Estate on a wild ride, disappointed beyond belief- the tremulous dream of everlasting love dashed once again by the betrayal of men.Though Jason is the type of man to love once and always ... will their love be enough to conquer the circumstances aligned against them?Okay, this is old school romance. The guy is alpha, brooding and difficult to like. But Mcnaught won me over with Victoria- she charmed the mean Jason Fielding out of his arrogance and me right along with him. People who read romance novels now won't like him- heck he keeps a mistress even after he's met the heroine- SHOCKING!- but I fell for him all over again ... even if it all felt a bit contrived.Sadly, they just don't write these emotional tour-de force romance novels anymore and I miss them.Realizing this book is a first in many ways, I'm giving it 4.5 out of 5. Can't wait to re-read some of McNaught's other oldies!
—Zeek
