Oscar Wilde I never thought I would be happy to leave this state, and at the moment I don’t care if I ever come back. Just ten days ago I was so happy to be home and dreaming about Paisley and I eventually starting a life there. Now I wouldn’t give two fucks about where we have our future, as long as we are together. I feel like I have a black cloud over my head and the last thing I want to do is bring it back with me. As much as I am trying to put it in the back of my mind because I can’t do anything about the decisions made, I have two years left in my enlistment and by that time Laura will be almost four, and I don’t know if my return will rip apart her relationship with Mick. I don’t want to factor Paisley’s reaction into my decision, but I do, and that makes me a piece of shit as a father and man. My mom advised me to tell Paisley sooner rather than later, but I refused to listen to that nonsense. I am keeping this as far away from Paisley as I can. I am going home to love her, put her first, and do everything in my power to make her feel secure in my love.
