Playing The Moldovans At Tennis (2002) - Plot & Excerpts
Tony Hawks is a funny guy. After all, he is a comedian, and comedians tend to have to be funny. But in recent years, he’s progressed from being “funny ha-ha” to being possibly a little bit strange. It’s not his fault, I guess. He just can’t resist a challenge. So when he got drunk one night and was bet that he couldn’t hitch hike around Ireland with a fridge in tow, he did, and then promptly wrote a book, the hilarious, if not terribly imaginatively titled “Round Ireland With a Fridge”Arthur Smith is also a funny guy. He’s a friend of Tony Hawks and has starred alongside him on the comedy circuit and on “Red Dwarf”. He’s also pretty fond of telling Tony he’s not very good at tennis, which upsets Tony because Tony thinks he’s actually rather good at the game. And so it is that one night, whilst watching England beat Moldova 4-0 and after quite a few drinks have been consumed, a bet is made. The bet is as so; that Tony can’t beat the entire Moldovan football team at tennis.It’s an entirely new challenge to going to Ireland and wandering around with a fridge. For one thing, Tony isn’t even sure where Moldova is, much less what language they speak there. And for another, even getting to Moldova is quite a process and one that, in Tony’s case, involves going to Liverpool to meet a Beatles tribute band. Not quite how you’d expect a Moldovan odyssey to start, but that’s how things had to be done.Once in Moldova, things don’t go a great deal better. It takes Tony a lot of time to even get the first game going, as the pace and quality of life in Moldova is such that even football players don’t just drop what they’re doing and enjoy a frivolous game of tennis. Indeed, it’s a place where there are no manhole covers, no street lighting and quite often not enough money to pay proper salaries to doctors and medical staff. Added to Tony’s woes are that very few people speak English at all, much less good English. And the ones that he can speak to and explain the nature of his visit to Moldova all think he’s insane.So, to fill the time in trying to find Moldovan footballers and force them to play tennis against him, Tony sees some of the country. He visits some gypsies and presents their King, Arthur, with a somewhat predictable gift. He meets who he believes to be the Chief of Police and gets to know the Moldovan family he is staying with a little better, even if he does have to resort to some unfortunate miming to get an important point across.Much like in “Round Ireland With a Fridge”, “Playing the Moldovans at Tennis” is more about the people he meets and how he goes about doing what he has to do, rather than the places he goes. Whilst this makes for an interesting read, it doesn’t make it a terribly good travel book, which is what it is technically defined as. However, his experiences of public transport in Moldova are fairly good, although all this leaves you with is a vague knowledge of how to get around the country, but without really knowing where you’d want to go or what you’d do when you get there.A number of his potential opponents either weren’t available or no longer played their club football in Moldova. So Tony’s trip also ends up taking in Ireland and Israel as well as Moldova. Whilst the Irish section of the book involves little other than hanging around with the football squad, the section in Israel is perhaps on of the more illuminating in regards to this technically being a travel book. Unlike his time in Moldova and in “Round Ireland With a Fridge”, a lot of the people he meets aren’t part of his bet and aren’t helping him along. And, unlike in Moldova he’s got time on his hands with things being arranged and done a lot quicker, so he’s able to look around a little. There’s no real advice or directions, but there are more descriptions of places he’s seen, rather than people.The general tone of the book is a lot slower and more downbeat than in “…Fridge”. This can’t be blamed on the author, but on the country he finds himself in. Whilst everything in his previous trip to Ireland worked out well and was a step towards completing his goal and took part in a country where he could feel at home, in “…Tennis”, virtually the opposite is true. There are days where nothing gets done and times are hard for everyone in the country. The harshness of life in Moldova is quite well reflected through the writing, which makes for a less fulfilling read, but overall a more moving experience. All in all, “…Tennis” is a better written book than “…Fridge” as it runs a gamut of emotions, rather than being all too easy.Tony’s writing style is again very chatty and straightforward. Whilst not flowing quite as well as “…Fridge”, it’s still a very easy book to read, as it’s told in a relaxed, almost conversational, style and you can almost hear Tony’s voice in your head, relating the events to you. The funny moments are rarer than in “…Fridge”, but there’s some real laugh out loud moments, although even they seem to reflect the Moldovan way of life in that they appear more frequently both before and after he’s been to the country and less so whilst he’s there.If you’ve enjoyed either of Tony Hawks’ other books, this is definitely one to read. Whilst not being “travel” in any real sense of the word, it’s certainly about a journey, and one worth following. If you like people who do silly things, it’s worth a look and if you’ve ever wondered how people in other cultures, particularly in Eastern Europe live their lives, then this is something that’s going to be of great interest. For those looking for barrels of laughs, then other books would be more to your tastes.This review may also appear under my name at any or all of www.ciao.co.uk, www.thebookbag.co.uk, www.goodreads.com, www.amazon.co.uk and www.dooyoo.co.uk
As a die-harder on CIS traveling, I do my best in ready every travelouge written on the former Soviet republics - some works, some do not work and some are great. Tony Hawks book is - against all odds - in the 2nd category.The reason why Hawks has the odds against him for writing a travelouge that works (and under no circumstances is capable of writing a great travelouge) is that is simply doesn't have a clue about Moldova. As anyone that succeeds with making a living out of something he doesn't have a clue about, he does not try to behave like he is an expert, he chooses a subject most other people don't have a clue about either and of course it does not hurt that he has a great humor and a lot of good spirit.As a consequence of his approach though, the book is probably more interesting AFTER you have visited Moldova (or as entertainment for you that have no intention what so ever to go there - a marketsegment I suspect to be much bigger) than as preperation before you go.2 other CIS travelogues come to my mind after reading Playing the Moldovans at tennis. Hennighan's Lost Province and Bissel's Chasing the Sea. Hennighan does not work, Bissel has written a great travelouge. The reason why Hennighan's book does not work is that as he as Hawks does not have a clue about Moldova nad the CIS, totally lacks the humour and - more important - the self irony and conciousness about his own ignorance that it takes to write a good travelogue from this startingpoint. It should be stated that if you can live with the anoyments this creates, Hennighans book is quite worthwhile as the period of time he spends in Moldova, the fact that he speaks the language and the fact that he works there, give insights that Hawk's book can not provide. The reason why his travelouge is not great as Bissel's, is exactly because he does not even try to get a clue about the subject before he started writing. One can very well argue though that Hawk never intended to write a travelouge in this traditional sense.Funny book - good observations!
What do You think about Playing The Moldovans At Tennis (2002)?
Tony Hawks zal niet snel overladen worden met literaire prijzen, maar als ik als aarzelende lezer in korte tijd drie van zijn boeken verslind, moet hij toch iets goed doen. Minder reflectief dan A Piano in the Pyrenees, over een idiote uitwas van een midlife crisis en niet zo hilarisch als de omslachtige kroegentocht in zijn Round Ireland with a Fridge, is Playing the Moldovans weer een geweldig leesboek. Hawks wedt dat hij t volledige Moldavische voetbalelftal kan verslaan in een potje tennis. Wat volgt is een komisch en soms aangrijpend verhaal over doorzettingsvermogen. Van Hawks en de Moldaviërs die in de jaren negentig moeizaam opkrabbelen na decennialang onderworpen te zijn aan t communisme en de kennis en t geld ontberen om een doortastende nieuwe start te maken. De luchtigheid maakt je soms onzeker over de waarachtige levenslessen die je beslist oppikt uit dit boek - een boek over de onbegrensde mogelijkheden van onbezonnen optimisme.
—Evan
This is a different book to Tony Hawks' previous book, Round Ireland With A Fridge, although it starts off in similar terms, discussing an odd bet he has undertaken. However, this goes on to be a much more significant journey for Hawks, as he takes the chance to witness life in Eastern Europe first hand.There is far less larking around in this book than in Round Ireland with a Fridge, and somehow, this feels appropriate.For me, this represents proof that Hawks is capable of writing a serious travelogue, albeit disguised by a bizarre bet with a fellow stand-up comedian, and the activities Hawks has to undertake to complete the bet.This was a very intelligent, sensitive piece of writing.
—Tim Brewin
Playing the Moldovans at Tennis by Tony Hawks is the story of Hawks' attempt to a win a bet. A bet, which, to any sane person, would sound utterly ridiculous: that he could beat all of the players that were on the field for the Moldovan national soccer team, in tennis (one on one). Why this bet, of all things? As he and his buddy were watching the game on TV, they decided to debate if athletic ability wins out over skill and knowledge of a game. As Mr. Hawks used to play tennis at a very low competitive level, he was adamant that he could beat athletic individuals, like these soccer players, at his game. So adamant that he was willing to agree to stripping naked and singing the Moldovan national anthem if he wasn't able to beat all 11 players. Pretty daring, but somewhat expected - Mr. Hawks wrote one book previously, Round Ireland with a Fridge, where apparently he walked around Ireland while carrying a fridge, also on a bet.I wasn't really sure what the expect when picking up the book, but I found a nice easy reading, quite humorous (Mr. Hawks is a comedian by trade) story. What was even more impressive to me was how he captured the feeling of the ex-Soviet Union so well. In particular, throughout the novel appear his host family that he lived with and their story of warming up to him. It perfectly mirrors what I have been told, and somewhat experienced in Russia, of Russian/ex-soviet union citizens being very hard to get to open up, but when you do, they are amazing and dependable friends. That seems to have been the author's experience as well.Overall, I'd recommend the book to someone looking for an easy read dealing with the former Soviet Union. It won't be life-changing, but you'll enjoy it and think about it for some time afterwords.
—Tom Folsom
