Nate was struggling with some heavy-duty demons and nothing I had to say seemed to have made any impact, so I left him alone with his thoughts. All the pieces of Nate had come together for me. The way he’d been with girls. The reason he didn’t allow himself to see them as real, or feel anything with them. Kissing is intimate. My fingers traced over my swollen lips. Hell yeah, it’s intimate. Nate sought out thrill-seeking activities, like skydiving, to feel emboldened and alive. He was so closemouthed about his family and tensed whenever his brother, Luke, had been around. But Luke seemed so opposite of Nate, he grappled way less, was probably half the person Nate was. He was afraid of what I thought of him, that much was evident. Maybe he was terrified that I’d let his secret out, tell the guys about him. But that would never happen. I caught him staring at my profile a bunch of times on the trip back, like he was studying me.
