I thought someone really, really wanted to find their missing cat so I stomped up to check it out and stopped dead at what I saw. It was a picture of Tex, no night vision goggles (thankfully) but with wild hair, a crazy-ass smile on his face looking like your friendly neighborhood serial killer. The picture was obviously color, copied in black and white which made it blobby and grainy and even more frightening. Underneath his picture it said, “Tex” and underneath that it said, “New Coffee Guy” and underneath that it said, “Fortnum’s”. Holy crap. I snatched the flier off the telephone pole and prowled into Fortnum’s. There were five customers, three standing in line, two waiting at the other end of the counter for their coffee. Tex and Jane were behind the counter. I shouted, “What the hell is this?” Then I waved the acid green poster around. Tex looked up at me, then looked out the window, then looked back at me and pointed the portafilter at me. Unfortunately, he hadn’t pounded out the used coffee grounds so they went flying in an arc in front of him and the customers stepped wide on either side to avoid them.
