"Rules", by Cynthia Lord, is told from the perspective of Catherine, the 12-year-old sister of David, an autistic 8-year-old. Catherine, at 12, is dealing with finding a place in a family that seems to be centered around coping with David's needs for comfort and development. Catherine's mom is divided between managing a home business (leaving Catherine to care for David) and providing David the care and developmental therapy he needs. Catherine's dad seems to be mostly coping with his own difficulty with accepting the parenting cards he's been dealt and possibly with his own austistic-like tendencies. Neither parent, though they both clearly love Catherine, appears to have the emotional resources to cope with any of Catherine's issues. In a sense, she is expected not to have any and to participate in a semi-adult capacity in therapeutic care for David. Meanwhile, Catherine is confronting her own, normal, 12-year-old girl issues--how far should she go against her own needs and wishes to go along with her friends, who should her friends be, how to cope with mean kids, what to do with her summer when her best friend is away. What I really like about this novel is that the characters are allowed to be complex. Though Catherine's parents are, in a way, neglectful of her needs, they aren't portrayed as bad parents so much as people coping as well as they can with a difficult situation and making some mistakes in doing so. For example, there are a number of times in the novel where David is waiting for his father to come home from work and take him on an outing. David expects his father at five and becomes very distressed when he isn't home by five. Catherine notes that while she can understand that her father is characteristically late, David can't. Reading this, I couldn't help but wonder, though Catherine didn't, wouldn't one think her father could be expected to control his tendency to be late in this instance rather than repeatedly distress his son and force his daughter to cope with this distress on a regular basis? Why is it that Catherine can understand how difficult it is for David to cope with his father's lateness, but her father can't? Another good example is in Catherine's new neighbor, Kristie, a girl Catherine would like to be friends with, but whom she immediately senses will be much `cooler' than she is. Kristie, it turns out, isn't a mean girl, and it's clear she's dealing with her own issues, but she probably isn't going to be real friend material for Catherine. I also liked Catherine's relationship with Jason, a wheel-chair bound boy about her own age. She is attracted to him, but isn't sure she wants to take on more relationships complicated by disability. Jason, though unable to communicate without the use of written cards and symbols, manages to be a pretty real adolescent. He isn't perfect- he sulks and can be manipulative. Still, the reader can see why Catherine might find him compelling. If there is anything that seems unrealistic about the book, it is that Catherine is, maybe, too understanding. She pretty much accepts that her parents aren't able to be there for her emotionally as much as she might like them to be and is, for the most part, willing to accept what they can offer. She accepts her disappointment that new neighbor is probably not going to be a good fit for her as a friend without hating her. She is able to accept that a friendship with Jason is going to be complicated. Most of all, she loves her brother with all of his limitations, while understanding that if she could turn him into a "normal" boy, she would. "Rules" is actually a pretty upbeat book. In general, Catherine seems secure and confident in her ability to handle problems. Although she is coping with a number of issues, she clearly loves her family, has friends she cares about, and interests and talents outside the scope of caring for/worrying about her brother and is absolutely free of self-pity. This would probably be a great book for young adolescents coping with family issues. I highly recommend it. (This review is also posted at Amazon.)
I've been trying to think of the best way to talk about this book. I read it in a night and then forced it upon my mother -who hardly ever makes the time to read- and she finished it in a night. Someday, when my sister is ready, I will have her read it too. This book was so sweet, and at moments, heart-wrenching. It's a simple story about a young girl who wants to be known for herself - not David's sister. Her eight-year-old brother has autism and because of his special needs, often takes the attention of their parents. Catherine is in a tricky place. She loves her brother, so much that she regularly adds to a list of 'rules' for him - things that the average person instinctively knows or learns very quickly - but David needs to be taught. Some of the rules are hilarious, "If it fits in your mouth, it's food." Some are heartbreaking, "Sometimes people laugh when they like you. Sometimes they laugh to hurt you." Yet, as much as she cares for David, he complicates her life. Her parents thrust babysitting duties on her constantly, her father rarely spends time with her alone - but he will with David, her brother is constantly embarrassing her in front of friends and neighbors. To further complicate things, they have a new next door neighbor who's Catherine's age and she does everything she can to hide David's behavior so that her new friend won't find out. Catherine also starts up a friendship with a boy at David's therapy clinic who can only communicate by pointing at the pictures in his phrasebook. It's a good story, but it really was the moments between Catherine and David that struck me so much. My seven-year-old nephew is autistic and there were so many moments that felt all too familiar. Not all unpleasant, but familiar. One of Catherine's rules is "If you don't have the words you need - borrow someone else's." David takes this to heart and is perpetually quoting Arnold Lobel's "Frog and Toad" book to express how he feels, and Catherine will respond back with the next line. At one point, Catherine is so angry at something David does, that she refuses to respond to his usual line, "I'm sorry, Frog." The panic that David goes through when the usual routine is messed up broke my heart. It is such a fragile, sweet relationship and watching Catherine figure out who she is and, more importantly, who she wants to be is such a nice journey. I recommend this to anyone whose lives have been touched by autism or who would like to see how families deal with the day to day routines with an autistic child. A beautiful story.
What do You think about Rules (2006)?
Rules by Cynthia Lord was a touching book about kids who has autism. The book takes place in the summertime by the ocean. The book doesn't give me a specific year but I'm guessing it was not to long ago because of the way they dress and how they talk. The main character is Catherine who is a teenage girl who loves to draw. David is her younger brother and he is diagnosed with autism. She has to go through everyday not knowing what he will do next.Catherine gained a new neighbor in the beginning of the summer named Kristi. Catherine was so excited to get a new neighbor and she wanted to be best friends with her. Kristi is a pretty girl with long brown hair. She started hanging out with Ryan, a boy who Catherine doesn't like very much. Ryan is in Catherine’s grade and picks on David sometimes. Catherine's best friend Melissa Went to visit her dad in California for the summer and Catherine misses her like crazy. She can’t call her because she can’t call long distance. Jason is a boy that Catherine met at David’s occupational therapy. Jason is in a wheelchair and can’t talk. He uses a communication book to talk to people. Catherine became very good friends with Jason and sat by him every time she went to therapy with David. The book opens up on the last day of school and Catherine and David are at the bus stop. Ryan was being mean to David so Catherine started a fight with him. They both got in trouble and had to sit in the front seat that day. Kristi moved in next door to Catherine, Catherine wanted to do everything with her and become her best friend. Catherine slowly realized that Kristi isn't who she wanted her to be. Kristi became friend with Ryan right away and did almost everything with him. Kristi invited Catherine to go to the dance with her and Ryan but she said she couldn't because she is going to Jason's birthday party that day. Catherine met Jason at occupational therapy and slowly became friends with him. Jason wanted Catherine to make him new cards for his communication book and she said yes. She made him all different kinds of words that she thought he would need and she made them really colorful. Catherine brings David and her mom to Jason's birthday party. At the party she gives Jason his present which is a guitar that he has always wanted. Jason finds out that Catherine doesn't want to be seen with him in public because she is afraid of what people might think of her. Jason gets mad and wheels away from her. Later that day Catherine calls Jason and invites him the the dance. At the dance Jason and her make up and Kristi sees who Jason really is. Kristi is mad at Catherine for not telling her and runs off with Ryan. This book taught me about the more important things in life and to appreciate the things that I have. I would recommend this book to younger students because I feel like they would really enjoy this book just as much as I did. I rated this book 3 out of 5 stars because it was a lower reading level for me but I still enjoyed reading the book.
—Taylor Miller
I read this book to help my grandson with his Battle of the Books assignment. We can discuss the characters and the important points of the story together now. I enjoyed the characters in the story and the RULES very much. I hope my grandson cares about Carherine and her little brother, David, as much as I do now. I have never met a person like Jason before but I am pleased that this story has given me an insight into what someone without words faces every day. I learned that just because someone cannot talk, it does not mean that they cannot hear or that they cannot say things, if they have the words.
—Cherie
As a mom of "normal" (what does that even mean?!?) kids and then one child with autism, this book made me pause and think. The description that Cynthia Lord gave of David's autism were so spot on that in many instances I felt like I was reading about my own child. I loved that it was told from the viewpoint of the sister, Catherine. A lot of times the focus is put on the child who struggles and, I am guilty of this, the other kids MUST be okay because they are functioning at a "normal" (again...) level. This book showed me a side that I know about, but sometimes forget. It's not always easy for my kids to have friends over. We just never know what my son will or won't do. I saw a review or two where people complained that there wasn't enough resolution at the end of the story. There is no resolution for a family dealing with autism. There is no magic pill or therapy to make it all better. Every day is a struggle. Some days are good and others, not so much, but there is no bright red bow with all the loose ends tied up. I thought that the ending was perfect for the story that was told.
—Melissa
