She could almost remember the smell of that tight place, the darkness, and the thread of light through which came the sounds of the world beyond the narrow rectangle where her mother had put her. The smell of old shoes. They had been following her. And sometimes, she would wake in the night hearing footsteps. She and Joe had stopped having sex. At first it seemed almost natural. There were always plenty of good excuses. Either she was too tired, or he was too tired. Once a month, he flew to California to check on Harold and the business, and he was always very tired and drained when he returned. The work was difficult; there was more competition; the customers wanted different things. She had the feeling he’d lost interest in his work. Making money used to be enough. Now, she wasn’t so sure. They’d get into bed at night and turn away from each other, desperate for sleep. She found it difficult to relax. Her body felt strange, alien. Her hips, her tender breasts. She’d put on weight.
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