People can attach themselves to something—an idea, another person, a desire—with an impossibly strong grip, and in the case of restless ghosts, a grip stronger than death. Will is a powerful thing. Will—it’s supposed to be a good trait, a more determined and persistent version of determination and persistence . But will and obsession—they sit right next to each other. They pretend to be strangers and all the while meet secretly at midnight. This is what happens. You don’t even know it. You can be choosing Milk Duds versus Junior Mints at the movies, you can be ordering the chicken sandwich versus the veggie, you can be joking and laughing on a long car ride or talking for hours on the phone and it can already be in motion. In their mind, you are theirs and Deb Caletti will always be theirs and your own choice about that matters very little. I can’t tell you how to avoid this. I’ve been there, and still I can’t. A person shows signs—of clutching on too fast, of being needy, of not hearing the word “no,”
