On the way out he noticed two people who knew him. He grabbed me before they recognized us and we hid out until we thought they were gone. Turns out they waited for us in the hall. I didn’t work at a church, so all I had done was commit a regular sin. My friend had broken some sort of church employee, “Never see the movie Desperado starring Latin sensation Antonio Banderas” covenant, so I immediately threw him under the bus and said, “It’s embarrassing, really, seeing pastors behave like this. The three of us are all just normal Christians; this guy is a professional. He should be ashamed of himself.” Then I swore for emphasis, but it was one of the okay swears, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. COMPLAINING ABOUT NOT BEING “FED” AT CHURCH If you want to become a professional church grumbler, not just some amateur occasionally throwing rocks at the worship service, minister, or other attributes of the church, there’s one key phrase you need to know: “I’m not being fed.”
