The hard part is asking him. I don’t want to speak to Cash, but I know I have to. To his credit, he doesn’t make me beg, or even ask repeatedly. He drops whatever he’s doing and lets me in. I start to trust him a little bit more. He doesn’t say much to me, either; he’s cancelled the few public engagements he had arranged, on account of what happened the other day. He’s angry, but not at me. I want to go to him, to feel his arms around me again, but I can’t bring myself to do it. If anything happens to Sy, I won’t be able to tolerate the sight of Cash. I don’t know what I will do, but I can’t think of that, not when I have the upcoming date with Torenze to feel sick about. I was already dreading it; the event the other day brought that dread closer to the forefront of my mind. I panicked in that crowd, clawing against the hands that held me down and threatened to pull me apart. What am I going to do when Torenze gets me alone? He’ll detect that fear immediately and he’ll use it to his best advantage.
