Such A Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest To Discover If Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, Or Why Pie Is Not The Answer - Plot & Excerpts
Now that this is my job, I’m literally and figuratively attempting to work my ass off.86The problem is, the more I do, the more I hear the same damn songs on my iPod, and I’m beginning to tire of my superfantastic treadmill mix. Although it remains superfantastic, I need to add some new superfantastic music because I am superfantastically sick of all its superfantasticness. I’ve listened to these songs so many times, they’re no longer effective at keeping me going. I’ve gotten so bored with all my favorite tunes that lately when I’m midworkout, I’ve been making up new lyrics.For example, “Straight Outta Compton” now sounds like this on the turntable in my head:Straight outta Bucktown, crazy motherfucker named Jennifer This goddamned treadmill gonna be the end of her Now she’s pissed off, she wanna sit down Eat up the chocolate cake ’til her body is completely round“Faith” has morphed into:Well, I guess it would be nice If I could thin my body Too bad not everybody Metabolizes like you“Somebody Told Me”
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