I’d always felt so tired back at 30 Rock. Once or twice I’d tried sleeping more, getting up at the crack of noon instead of dawn, but it didn’t help; I’d still felt weary. What helped was people—being around survivors like myself. I packed my gear, dressed for outdoors, and took my backpack with me. I’d go to Rockefeller Plaza. I’d be on time, and I’d see if Felicity showed. Had she found my note? Maybe she was like Rachel, afraid now of leaving her home. The idea made heat rush up my neck. If she didn’t show at the rink, I would swing past her apartment on the way back to the zoo. If I found her, maybe I’d ask her to go up into the tower at 30 Rock with me. We could scan the routes north and I’d get a chance to say a proper good-bye to the place, for good this time. Caleb would help, I knew it. Maybe he wouldn’t come here and shovel shit in the snow but I couldn’t imagine him not wanting to help me persuade Rachel to leave. Maybe he’d resist the idea at first, for fear of the trek and the risk of venturing into unknown territory, but I had to persuade him so he could help me persuade Rach.
