Thank You's for some of our daily occurrences and annoyances...... haters, for giving rappers so much to talk about.... microbreweries, for making my alcoholism seem like a neat hobby.... person unwrapping a cough drop in the movie theater. I know you think that by unwrapping your lozenge very slowly it's somehow less offensive. It's not. I can hear every damn crinkle of that wrapper. O my gosh I'm dying from laughter! I was looking for a really funny book and saw this at the library and thought 'o what the heck! Why not!' Sometimes you just really need a laugh ya know! :D And Jimmy Fallon is always a goodie to supply that! Why not spread the love! Here are some of my favs! "Thank you...guy at the dry cleaners, for charging me $11 to clean a dress shirt. It clearly doesn't cost that much, but you know I'll pay it anyway because I'm not really sure what you do and how much it should cost. In fact, I'm 99 percent sure that all you did was iron it and put a plastic sheet over it.""Thank you...haters, for giving rappers so much to talk about.""Thank you...NASA, for firing that missile at the moon. I think that sent a clear message to other lifeless rocks in the solar system that their constant orbiting will no longer be tolerated.""Thank you...molars. If my teeth were a class picture, you'd be the fat kids in the back row.""Thank you...the name Lloyd, for starting with two Ls. I'm glad both those Ls were there, because otherwise, I would have called you "Loyd.""Thank you...Christmas decorations, for going up right after Halloween. Nothing says "holidays" like seeing my neighbor replace his plastic Dracula with a plastic baby Jesus.""Thank you...flour, for keeping the paper sack container business alive. Don't want to change your packaging, huh? Whenever I buy you I feel like I'm Charles Ingalls buying something from Oleson's store on credit.""Thank you...the light bulb that's been burned out in my house for the past two months, for reminding me how lazy I am. And when I finally do replace you, it won't be with a light bulb I've bought-it will be with a light bulb from the least important light in the house.""Thank you..."Yes, I Agree to the Terms and Conditions" box I have to click in order to install software. You know full well I didn't actually read the terms and conditions. For all I know, I just agreed to become the new face of herpes. But I'm still gonna click you.""Thank you...people who show off their high school spanish when pronouncing their order at a Mexican restaurant. That way you just said "fajita" made me feel like I was wandering the rustic streets of Guadalajara. But I'm not. I'm in a Taco Bell and you're holding up the line, amigo.""Thank you...lasers, for being spelled with an s even though you'd be totally more badass if you were spelled with a z. Just sayin'.""Thank you...driver's license photo, for reminding me that there was at least one moment in my life when I looked exactly like a homeless serial killer."
What do You think about Thank You Notes (2011)?
Pretty funny. Not as funny as if he'd read it to me himself but a gal's gotta take what she can get.
—jake
