This book consists of five short stories and a novella. First, let me state the obvious: that Jane Smiley, who won a Pulitzer for "A Thousand Acres" can really write. Her grasp of what really goes on at the heart of relationships, and within people in the course of their daily lives, is remarkable. These stories explore connections between friends, parents and children, and men and women. I will say that the stories all tend toward the down side. While there is genuine truth here, I think she shortchanged joy, which is just as real and present in our connections as is pain.I admired and enjoyed four of the five short stories. In "The Pleasure Of Her Company", a woman's friendship with her new neighbors isn't exactly what it seems to be, or what she thinks it is. To me, this was the best of the bunch. In "Lily", a beautiful but lonely woman plans to ask her friends--a married couple--why they think she can't find love, only to discover that they aren't the ones to ask."Long Distance" concerns a single man visiting family-centered relatives at holiday time. It's really keenly observed. "Dynamite" is about a very rare bird, a female bomber. It was written pre-Oklahoma City and makes a creepy read indeed, today.The only one of the short stories that I didn't care for was called "Jeffrey, Believe Me", about a woman who gets her gay male friend high and manages to seduce him and become pregnant. It all seemed surreal, unlikely, and silly to me.The title novella concerns a married couple who have three young daughters and who share a thriving dental practice. The story is told through his eyes. He comes to believe that his wife has been having an affair, which has subsequently ended. He goes to insane lengths not to give her the chance to tell him in so many words. Personally, I felt his fearful, angry emotional remove was worse than anything she may or may not have done. All five characters are richly depicted, and all of them except the narrator ring absolutely true. Him, I couldn't quite believe, and I thought, not for the first time, that it is a tricky business to write cross-gender fiction; that is, men writing women or women writing men. I found it hard to spend as long as I had to, inside this man's head. Four stars, on the whole.
There are some stories that resonate with such innate truth that they stay with you - you recognize your own thoughts on the page and wonder at the writer who seems to intimately know you, even though you've never met. This is how I feel about Jane Smiley and The Age of Grief. This is how I feel about this passage:"I am thirty-five years old, and it seems to me that I have reached the age of grief. Others arrive there sooner. Almost no one arrives much later. I don't think it is the years themselves, or the disintegration of the body. Most of our bodies are better taken care of and better looking than ever. What it is, is what we know, now that in spite of ourselves we have stopped to think about it. It is not only that we know that love ends, children are stolen, parents die feeling that their lives have been meaningless. It is not only that, by this time, a lot of acquaintances and friends have died and all the others are getting ready to sooner or later. It is more that the barriers between the circumstances of oneself and the rest of the world have broken down, after all - after all that schooling, all that care. Lord, if it be thy will, let this cup pass from me. But when you are thirty-three, or thirty-five, the cup must come around, cannot pass from you, and it is the same cup of pain that every mortal drinks from."Some books are read for entertainment and some are read because they provide a source of personal reflection. The Age of Grief is well-written and structurally perfect but - more than that - it is a collection of short stories which captures a moment in our adult lives... that moment when one realizes that innocence is not only gone, but no longer needed, and that Grief is not simply a "bad feeling" but a state of grace.
What do You think about The Age Of Grief (2002)?
Genius. Like a texture in your brain afterwards, like a really good painkiller but stimulating. Flawless endings in each story, except maybe the first which was still compelling. "LilY" is the best, "Jeffrey, Believe Me" is the least believable (but it jars you in its method of plot revelation and has, as always, a great ending--another non-resolution), and "Dynamite" made me consider a fundamental world view I have (about negative expectations--the story's about a leftist terrorist on the lamb
—Josh
Some of the stories I'm not a huge fan of. But the reason to buy this/read this is the novella at the end, the age of grief. Which later was turned into "The Secret Lives of Dentists" movie, which really didn't do it justice in my opinion. But I don't think it could, because the essence of this novella is the internal dialogue of the main character. (Why is spell check saying dialogue is wrong? dialog?) Anyways, this is one of those stories I always come back to... I wish I wouldn't, it leaves this heavy weight on my chest every time.
—Deborah
I read this (according to a notebook) in the Quarterly, Spring 1987 edition; I copied this passage out: "I am thirty-five years old, and it seems to me that I arrived at the age of grief. Others arrive there sooner. Almost no one arrives much later. I don't think it is years themselves, or the disintegration of the body. Most of our bodies are better taken care of and better-looking than ever. What is is, is what we know, now that in spite of ourselves we have stopped to think about it. It is not only that we know that love ends, children are stolen, parents die feeling that their lives have been meaningless. It is not only that, by this time, a lot of acquaintances and friends have died and all the others are getting to sooner or later. It is more that the barriers between the circumstances of oneself and of the rest of the world have broken down, after all--after all that schooling, all that care."An amazing passage!
—Tim
