I found myself much worse off than the first time, just moments before. My voice shook with my rage, going from gravelly to squeaky in seconds, and then back again. I continually gripped my fists at my sides, arms straight down, and then for emphasis, I guessed, I would raise and shake them at those around me. I couldn’t get to how rude I was being. All I could do was breath in and out my pain and panic, which erupted like a volcano, trying to burn all in its path. “Please. You have to help me. I have to go to Lex. I understand that you have a plan, and that the Royals will get him, but I can’t just be carted off to wait. I need to be a part of that plan. I’m not giving myself over to them, and just sitting back and doing nothing. I can’t just let them save him. I need to help. Please. I beg of you. You have to understand that. I need to be part of it. I need to be there. I need to see him as soon as I can. I can’t wait. I can’t take it.” My voice slipped in volume, words coming between sobs, as that initial anger succumbed to my fears and irrational emotional outbursts.
