Sarah stared out the window. Her first time on a plane, she should have been awestruck by the bulbous clouds skimming beneath the aircraft. Because I promised myself this. One summer away. Her final year at UCC was finished. It seemed like the perfect time to see some of the world. Leaving Kieran was the only downside. Usually so sunny and upbeat, he had become withdrawn as the date for her departure drew closer. ‘Remind me again why you feel you have to go?’ Lying naked on his double bed, four days before she was due to leave, Sarah struggled to remember her reasons. ‘Because I was always left behind. Not just at college, but all through school too. I’ve never had a holiday – not ever.’ There was a secondary reason, though, one that Sarah wasn’t revealing. She wanted to test how strong she was, how confident, without Kieran. She wanted to test whether the depression had really gone, or if it was just waiting in the wings. It was a controlled test: she was doing the leaving, not someone else.
