A Big Stink from the Head Cheese There are two theories on how to argue with a principal. Neither one works. "But that book club is just a front for his zombie operation," I said. Principal Zero's claws kneaded his scarred desktop. "Nonsense," he rumbled. "Aloyicious Theonlyest Bunk is the most respected librarian in town. Neither he nor anyone else at this school is, as you put it, turning students into zombies." "But—" "Gecko, the only reason I'm not giving you a month of detention—and believe me, I want to—is that Mr. Bunk has asked me to pardon you." Principal Zero sniffed. "He's more lenient with the students than I am." I tried another approach. "Look, Mr. Zero. Every day, I see more and more zombies around school. Somebody's making them." He smoothed the fur on his jowls and watched me with narrowed eyes, the way I watch a horsefly I'm planning to lunch on. "I see," he said. "And how do you know they're zombies?" "They walk like zombies, they talk like zombies..." I gripped the edge of the desktop.
