The Brentford Chainstore Massacre (1998) - Plot & Excerpts
My first taste of Robert Rankin's work was the BBC radio adaptation of The Brightonomicon. I found it to be hilarious, so, of course, I went on to read the novel. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and was pleased to find that it was the eighth book in a "trilogy" of nine, and promptly began buying the rest of the series.The Brentford Chainstore Massacre is the fifth book in the series and, in my opinion, the best (chronologically speaking) so far. The writing style that attracted me to the series in The Brightonomicon comes fully into its own for the first time in the series. Rankin attacks his brand of fiction with his tongue pressed so firmly into his cheek that it's in danger of poking through! The story is paced to read like a blockbuster action movie, with humorous transitions tying one part of the story to the next, no matter how unrelated they are.Chainstore also marks the first time in the series where Rankin not so much breaks down the fourth wall as rides a bulldozer through it. And then reverses over the debris. Probably laughing manically as he goes.The usual cast are back, with Pooley and Omally taking centre stage, surrounded by the same faces and, of course, a great evil to battle. The duo hatch a plan to get their hands on some of the Millennial Celebration Funding two years early, not knowing that, by doing so, they are causing a certain event to take place at a certain time that will have wonderful consequences for humanity.So, of course, they can't be allowed to succeed.From cloned saviors to ancient scrolls, assassinated monks to hell lizards, this story has everything you could imagination... if your imagination was full of very strange things, and on the tail end of a prolonged session on hard drugs.The only negative I came away from this story with is that the plot seems a little... well, plotless at times, with the events of entire chapters seemingly voided by what follows them. Still, for a story that, at times, pokes fun at its own narrative, a gripe about plot cohesion is a relatively small gripe to have.For fans of Rankin, this book is a must-read, though I would recommend reading the earlier novels in this particular series first if you haven't already, or if you are new to his work. Not, you understand, because of any overarching plot (very little is carried over from story to story), but because the evolution of Rankin's writing style is most evident over this series of novels, and I'd imagine that reading The Antipope after this could be a bit underwhelming.
This book is a return to Rankin’s original heroes, Jim Pooley and John Omally of Brentford. It’s also a return to the titles that sound cool but don’t directly relate to the plot. The overlapping plots this time around involve a mad doctor who is attempting to clone Jesus, and the discovery that a set of scrolls from the Vatican will allow Brentford to celebrate the millennium a few years early. As might be expected, there’s also a demonic being, this time the head of the Millennial Committee who sold his soul to Satan. While much of it has a done-before sort of feeling, it’s a good read, and has some interesting and amusing new ideas.
What do You think about The Brentford Chainstore Massacre (1998)?
Very funny, as usual. I always enjoy these novels. I feel I know the characters so well by now too. This was one of the better ones too, which is saying a lot because they're all good anyway. This ones about Poole and O'Malley attempting to get their hands on a large amount of coin, as they say from the Millennium funding committee, or some such body. Also involved in the shenanigans is a Doctor who clones two boys from the blood of Jesus on the Turin Shroud and yet another attempt to renovate The Flying Swan to the constant disgust of the locals.Just switch off your brain and go along for the ride.Wonderful stuff.
—Shane
'And the lights upon the allotment,' said Soap, 'what would you take those to be?' 'The work of the council,' said Omally firmly, 'another plot to confound honest golfers.' Soap burst into a paroxysm of laughter. Tears rolled down his pale cheeks and he clutched at his stomach. 'Come now,' said Pooley, 'it is no laughing matter, these lads have it in for us.' 'Have it in for you?' gasped Soap between convulsions. 'You witness a test run of laser-operated gravitational landing beams, the product of a technology beyond comprehension, and you put it down to the work of Brentford Council?''If you will pardon me,' said Pooley, somewhat offended, 'If it is the product of a technology beyond comprehension I hardly feel that I can be blamed for finding it so.''Quite', said Omalley.1) The Antipope 2) The Brentford Triangle 3) East of Ealing4) The Sprouts of Wrath 5) The Brentford Chainstore MassacreI decided that I should try to fit in some re-reads of old favourites over the next few months, and I started with The Brentford Trilogy since I've got two linked books on my TBR shelf. I liked book 1 of this series, but it was book 2 that got me hooked. On the surface Brentford may appear to be a normal West London suburb, but it's actually a centre of weirdness and a magnet for the uncanny. So it's lucky that the mysterious Professor Slocombe, and local layabouts Pooley and Omalley are ready to tackle evil whenever it rears its head, with the help of the inventive genius Norman Hartnel, hollow-earther Soap Distant and the other regulars of The Flying Swan pub.
—Isabel (kittiwake)
