When he is young, he does this by trying to fuck anything with a ticking body clock, and when he is in his prime, he does it by fighting other Men. Of course, by the time he reaches old age and his Qi is depleted, he is so desperate to reclaim his youth that he still goes around fucking and fighting.’ ‘And what is the answer to this dilemma?’ asked Too Zi. ‘Wanking,’ replied the Master as he disappeared into the bathroom. The Fifth Book of BiAlects, Verse 37 Life with the rest of the Empress’s concubines in the Pavilion of Delicious Delights was not one that Dong E found conducive to private study and reflection. Every moment of every day was confined and encoded by Li. Li informed them what it was appropriate to wear, which songs it was most propitious to sing, and which board games it was permitted to play. Li told them when to wash, when to eat, when to rest … everything. And to ensure that Li was meticulously adhered to, there was always the hateful presence of NoN Mao ZeDong noting and punishing every indiscretion and every violation of protocol committed by the Fresh Blooms.
