The Eden Express: A Memoir Of Insanity (2002) - Plot & Excerpts
The Eden Express was written by Kurt Vonnegut's son Mark, and is a memoir of his struggles with schizophrenia, or his struggles with, what he once called, "apocalypse, shit storms, and eternal truths."The first 70 pages of this 214 page book were pretty slow, and barely interesting. They mainly describe Mark's post graduate life, his relationship with his girlfriend, his deep involvement with the hippie community, and his creating a commune in British Columbia. The writing during this first third is mediocre, and it drags.Then, shortly after getting settled into his dream and utopia on the commune MARK GOES CRAZY. And boy does it take off.Finally, this is why I chose to read this book. This is where it gets interesting; this is where it becomes a head trip; this is where Mark's writing comes to life with a stream of consciousness entering us into Mark's paradigm bending, soul inflating, soul shattering, runaway ride into Hells Cosmos. Here, Mark doesn't just give us a glimpse, but a full-on immersion into his head. His head, his head, his crazy head; his brilliant head, his wild head. It's beyond conceivability, but he makes you understand. The heart pounding, the hypersensitivity, delusions, world ending panic, extreme paranoia, the suicide attempts, talking to the demon, his girlfriend is dead, his father is dead, everyone-is-dead-including-Mark, the conspiracies, naked runs of catch-me-if-you-can, lost sense of time, the transcendence and going beyond, breaking windows, blackouts, good versus evil, life or death for himself, life or death for the entire species -- all of it up to him, all of it in his head -- all of it articulated in an enlightening manner.While Mark described his experience and what was going on in his head remarkably well, the most impressive and important trait of this memoir is its honesty. Mark gives a full-on, straight-up account of what happened, neither downplaying nor glorifying this fascinating but frightening disease. For Mark the early stages were mostly positive: transcendent feelings of enlightenment, an overwhelming sense of peace, an increased ability to inspire. He was Mark the "real life prophet guru." He was Mark "falling in love with everyone," and Mark in a "warm comfy womb with all his friends." "I had attained enlightenment that made me above eating and sleeping"The transition: "And then it dawned on me who I was. I was Curiosity. What a terrible thing to be; Curiosty at the dawn of time. I couldn't help myself, I knew I was going to fuck everything up.""All the lonely, sick, unhappy people. The sky was crying. Everyone was dragging, stumbling through life. A fat girl went into the drugstore, a limping woman came out. Cars were choking along. The wind and rain slashed through everything, biting and cold, and here I was, safe inside the bus. I started crying."To the horrific. Here, shortly after Mark's second schizophrenic onslaught, speaking of an individual he had not known long, who is rather in awe of him -- whom Mark refers to as "Fan", or, "Fan David" because he's a huge fan of Mark's father -- we see just how brutally honest Mark is about what happened to him. "Fan David's was the most persistent 'Far out, that's cool,' etc., I have ever run into. I remember how I finally shook him up. I went into the room where he was sleeping. He started up, per usual, being enthusiastic about how far out I was. His dog was lying next to his bed. I reached over and jacked his dog off. Fan got very upset. I guess everyone has a limit."My reaction, looking back on the book, I think, is probably much like Mark's reaction when looking back on schizophrenia itself. Its images, perceptions, and profundities feel vague and just out of grasp. There was a wild wisdom that went along with him going crazy; a wisdom so far outside the box it's only partially fathomable by someone like me, who hasn't experienced it. The same goes for the terrifying, suicidal, out of control "shit storms" that Mark experienced. And so we are lucky that someone as talented as Mark was able to go back and retell -- relive, really -- his experience, giving us an idea of the boundaries that our minds are capable of, and where they can take us.But by the end, Mark is clear: "I would much prefer death over life with my head in such desperately bad shape."And yet.."Even in the beginning there was some worry about me and even in the end there was some feeling that I was on to something very important and real."
Like most people, I read this book out of my love and affection for Kurt Vonnegut, the father of Mark Vonnegut. Obviously, Mark was riding on this connection for the interest base of this story, and it was likely the very reason this book was published. The memoir details the life of Mark Vonnegut: a hippie who took too many drugs and went insane. I am sensitive to mental illness, but I hated Mark by page 15. I could not get past his delusions of hippie grandeur (“…but the big problem was that although I did all the things good hippies do, I always did them with a twist and was too conscious and/or proud of that twist to be the hippie I would have liked to be.” Wha?) and other worldly musings. I unexpectedly felt the same frustrations as I did while reading the cheesy Christian Baldwin brother book (The Unusual Suspect: My Calling to the New Hardcore Movement of Faith) – I was crossing out large excerpts, writing profanities in margins, and sizzling.Honestly, a large part of my disinterest in this book has to do with the fact that I hate hippies. I can’t handle the “we’re just victims of our fucked-up, materialistic, impersonal, hectic, overmechanized, dehumanizing society” bit (actual quote). This was a hippie mantra repeated throughout the book, but without details as to WHY Mark believed our society might be so. It’s not necessarily that I disagree with this mantra, but it bothers me when people use clichés without giving substance/explanation, because then it makes me feel like they don’t know why they are rattling them off. Mark did too many drugs. Mescaline, acid, speed, weed, amyl nitrates...to name a few regulars. A sample of Mark’s thoughts while tripping:-“Think think think. What a funny word. A funny sound, a funny meaning. Almost as funny as funny. I think I’ve probably spent more time and energy thinking than most people, but that’s a very hard thing to be able to say for sure. I don’t even know very well what thinking is, let alone have a way to tell who’s doing it and how much.”-“The goats didn’t like me. I knew it and it hurt. The goats didn’t really dig anyone but they seemed to like me least. Maybe it was because I had played the heavy when we first got them.” What I failed to understand is why Mark kept trying to blame his “going nuts” on the state of the world, parents breaking up, or his girlfriend cheating on him…I kept waiting for him to confront the “elephant in the room” and admit that drugs juuuuuust might have played a substantial role in his insanity. Caught up in the trend of the 70s, he had been tripping for years, talking to goats and living on a commune. Again, I really am sensitive to, and interested in, mental illness. The hallucinations, delusions, and dysfunction of schizophrenia must be terrifying. However, it has been proven that drug use is associated with the development of schizophrenia. In fact, psychotic episodes caused by certain drugs can be almost indistinguishable from schizophrenic episodes…On the other hand, environmental factors can also play a role. To this end, I would have liked to see a little more family history – was there trauma or dysfunction? Did we not get mention of this fam history because Kurt axed it? Am I just disappointed because I didn’t get an inside glimpse into Kurt’s life? Who knows.The book became more interesting & understandable when Mark started going insane after one too many drug binges. The perspective was extremely vivid and made me feel like I was going crazy, or that I could identify with those thoughts, or that “sanity is such a fine line” – which means his writing was powerful enough to do this. The accounts of insanity are so realistic, that I would like to know if he journaled or just recreated through a fantastic memory. But…WHAT was that “Letter to Anita” in the end that basically served to summarize the memoir? Eeks; wish I hadn’t read that because I was just starting to get invested.
What do You think about The Eden Express: A Memoir Of Insanity (2002)?
Yeah, well said. Definitely draws you right in, huh? Reading the book is itself a psychedelic experience. I was sort of disappointed in his conclusions, but who am i to talk.
—Eliza
A beautiful, terrifying memoir about one man's descent into mania and insanity. As the only son of a father who was a paranoid schizophrenic, who died before I got a chance to know him and understand his condition, Vonnegut's book answered many questions I've had for a long, long time. What the disease does to the diseased, the consequences it has on friends and family, social and cultural implications...Vonnegut approaches all these themes and ideas while maintaining a cohesive narrative that is both entertaining and educational.
—Nate Jordon
The Eden Express: A Memoir of Insanity is the story of a man named Mark Vonnegut. Mark is the son of the famous author Kurt Vonnegut (author of Salughterhouse-Five). This memoir tells the tail of Mark's journey through insanity. He was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic. Through this journey he has several mental breakdowns and has to be institutionalized, but he overcomes his disease and become a successful pediatrician after attending Harvard Medical School.This story of Mark's life starts out with him, his indifferent girlfriend Virginia, and his trusting companion Zeke. They all take an adventure to British Columbia and purchase some land for a very cheap price. On this land is some run down building but they and some friends of theirs work hard to refurbish the house. They plan to make a farm and a commune with their friends out of all this land. This place brings great joy to mark, but as he returns to New York City to visit his father he finds his self falling apart and crying uncontrollably. This is the very beginning of his fall into insanity.Through his illness, Mark experienced suicidal thoughts and was participating in self-starvation. He only turned to medication as an aid after he had already been institutionalized twice. Mark's "hippie" lifestyle and superfluous of freedom was too much for him to handle. Was it the way he was living his life that made him go insane of was it just a chemical imbalance in his brain? Well, only science can tell. Read this wonderful memoir to experience the journey of a man through insanity and back to be moved about how much things can change in very little time.I chose this book because not only had I just finished reading Slaughterhouse-Five, but I also have a big fascination with schizophrenia. I enjoyed this book, but Mark Vonnegut just doesn't seem to say things about the world quite as well as his father does. This book was a good read and a moving memoir, I just had some trouble getting through it. Although, this could be do to my chronic struggle to find books that interest me.
—Emily Dawn Shader
