This story is formulaic. Boy spots boy and their eyes meet; boy later meets boy and they have sex; one of them gets fired and the other one helps him out; and on and on until they prepare to ride off into the sunset together. It should probably be in the Nifty Erotic Stories archive, where it would be a standout for its grammar and spelling, even if the sex isn't as well written as that found in many stories on Nifty.The dialogue is choppy, probably because it isn't connected to the action. It made me think of Maggie the cat in "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof," when she referred to sister woman's children as "no neck monsters", because their fat little heads sat on their fat little bodies with no visible means of connection. Can we coin the phrase "no neck dialogue" to describe the way this story is structured?An ounce of attribution here and there would have added several pounds of polish to this story, and a higher rating.Then there is the business of so many sentences being a stand-alone paragraph. What�s up with that? A casual meeting becomes a deeper relationship for Joe and Bill. None of them is looking for anything beyond a few moments of pleasure, but there's an atraction growing between them and, even though there's isn't much stability in their lives, they find themselves actually caring for each other. This book begins mostly with a focus on physical contact and atraction, and so, sex is a massive presence along the story. There is, however, a story behind both men and, as their relationship grows to something more than just pleasure without consequences, Joe and Bill reveal more of their emotions, creating a notion of future that makes the story a lot more interesting.There's is somewhat of a past on both main characters, leaving, however, the idea that more could be told about that. As the couple grows in their relationship, and as their feeling become stronger, the idea of knowing more about each other becomes a need and I believe those stories would give a little more depth to the couple's love story.An interesting story, after all, though it could become more interesting with a more elaborate characterization of the couple. Still, an entertaining read.I received the book for free through Goodreads First Reads
What do You think about The Elevator Mechanic (2000)?
that was a really good story with strong characters and nice kinky sex ;)
—Liv
